I've been thinking a lot lately about my life, how I got here and the events that made it possible as well as what all these things are leading me to. And I think I've narrowed my life down to the 5 things that changed my life the most.
In the order that I realized them they are as follows:
- My Aunt Tammy's Death
- A 3 AM Trip to the Bathroom
- Not Leaving Brad for Chris When Given the Chance
- Super Doggie (Directly Connected to The Little Mouse, The Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear)
- Deciding that 2007 Would Be the Year I Took Charge of My Life
The thing that spawned all this on? I have been reading that cult like book, The Secret lately and really it's only made me more aware of what I already do in my life and the things that have lead me to live my life this way. It was one quote in particular that did this for me.
There is no greater power in the Univers than the power of love. The feeling of love is the highest frequency you can emit. If you could wrap every thought in love, in you could love everything and everyone, your life would be transformed.
Now, a lot of things happened in my life because of Tammy's death. For one, I left home at age 17 and moved to Fargo to be closer to her two daughters:
Kayla (to the left) and Britny (above). These girls are the closest thing I have to sisters. I adore them and am so happy I moved to Fargo for the time I've gotten to spend for them. But they are getting pretty grown up now and I don't see them every week like I used to when I first came up here.
But more than this, after Tammy's death, the things people said about her completely transformed me. I know at everyone's death people always say nice things, but you could tell these people reall meant it. Hell, they still say it and mean it nearing a decade later. They all talked about how warm Tammy was, how she only had positive things to say, how she would never talk trash about anyone else or even allow trash talking to happen around her. And as far as I knew her, this was completely true. And all I could think of was how shallow and petty my life was and how I wanted to become more like this woman that everyone else was so humbled by. And so after some serious thought, I formed a thesis statement for my life:
To fill myself so full of love, joy, hope, faith and wonder that it pours out of me onto everyone I meet in life. To be completely forgiving and loving and without judgement, but have only kindness and love for everyone and everything.
Which was inspired from 1st Corinthians 13:13:
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Now, I'm far from perfect in this goal, but that's really what I strive for. Clearing my mind of all negativity and just feeling love all the time. I'm a lot better at it then when I started, but I still have a long ways to go. My real name Carissa means loving or grace. (My middle name Lynn means Pretty 
) But I'd like to be remembered, above all else, for the love and wonder I brought into the world. I hope that I keep this mission statement throughout my life. The tattoo on the back of my neck is a cross in a heart with wings to remind me of this goal and to keep it in the open where others can see it and I will always remain in check. I'd like to get that 1st Corinth verse on my arm as well one day for the same reason.
♥,
Rizzy
But what about the 3 AM bathroom visit?!
<3!