On Sunday and Monday, Colin and I had a terrible argument about the very happy event that I had posted about previously (meeting my favorite actor).
I never wanted Colin to know I was going to see the show because every boyfriend I've ever had has been jealous of my crush on Tony Crane.
Furthermore...I wanted it to remain a Colin-free event. Colin doesn't want me to get any more tattoos and piercings, and I have ANOTHER hobby which he wants me to give up. A hobby which involves trees.
So I felt that if he knew I wanted to go see the show and possibly try to meet my favorite actor, that he would get all jealous and woogy and try to stop me. So I didn't even want him to know that it happened.
Well, when I came back from Vegas, he said he got a wierd "feeling" - that something had happened there that I wasn't telling him about. Something I wasn't telling him about. Then he says when I got home that he went to kiss me, that I rolled my eyes and looked away. And he says that he saw my that my newest Suicide Girls blog was set to friends only, and that it confirmed the feeling that he had.
Well...
Later that day when I went to see him at the shop, he kept saying that over and over - that something was "wrong" and he thought something happened in Vegas that was bad.
I told him nothing bad happened, and I was with my mom the whole time. But he kept on insisting that something went on. For HOURS this went on, and I would stop looking him in the eye.
In the repeated barrage of questions, there were questions like "Did anyone make a pass at you?" and "Did anyone kiss you out there?" I decided that I still didn't want him to know that I went to see Tony Crane, so I continued to deny everything.
So finally after a few hours of that, I broke down and told him that I met Tony Crane after the show and he DID kiss me on the cheek afterward. But he was just being nice and polite.
He was furious at me for lying to him and tried to give me the whole "When you're in a relationship, you have to be 100% completely open and honest and you can't keep anything from the person you're with"...spiel. Bah.
And maybe he IS right - I DID lie to him. I didn't want anything to stop me from something I'd waited 10 years to do - including him using things like guilt and jealousy.
He asked me if I had to do it all over again, if I had to lie to him, if I would.
I said yes, that I would do it all over again. I meant it.
We fought a whole lot more after that - he tried to bring various family members and friend's names into the argument, I'm still angry about the fact that he doesn't have a good job, a license, or a car...yeah, it got ugly.
We are OK now, I think, though. He went out and bought flowers and wine and lit a bunch of candles and told me that what we were fighing over was nothing, absolutely nothing, and that we shouldn't break up over it.
I was pretty close to ending our relationship there. I absolutely HATE having to tell someone every little fart I let - literally. Sometimes if I'm in the bathroom for more than 60 seconds he will come to the door and ask me if I'm OK, or will come in.
I HATE that - I wasn't raised that way - I love bathroom privacy and he will try to come into the bathroom when I am trying to shower or take a dump. If you're reading this right now, Colin, and I know you will eventually read this - please STOP doing that. I know you would rather me tell you this in person, but I just now thought of it.
He tries to be so helpful - a little too helpful, to the point of where it is annoying sometimes. He's always asking me for no reason if everything is OK. If I want help, I will ask you for it. Sometimes a little too much subservience in a man is annoying and a turn-off. I know you want to help me, so if I need help, I will ask you.
So...that's the Cliffs Notes version of what happened. I hope we don't ever fight that badly again. I don't plan on seeing Tony Crane any time soon again in the future (*cries*) so...it is what it is. Thanks for being there for me, guys.
I never wanted Colin to know I was going to see the show because every boyfriend I've ever had has been jealous of my crush on Tony Crane.
Furthermore...I wanted it to remain a Colin-free event. Colin doesn't want me to get any more tattoos and piercings, and I have ANOTHER hobby which he wants me to give up. A hobby which involves trees.
So I felt that if he knew I wanted to go see the show and possibly try to meet my favorite actor, that he would get all jealous and woogy and try to stop me. So I didn't even want him to know that it happened.
Well, when I came back from Vegas, he said he got a wierd "feeling" - that something had happened there that I wasn't telling him about. Something I wasn't telling him about. Then he says when I got home that he went to kiss me, that I rolled my eyes and looked away. And he says that he saw my that my newest Suicide Girls blog was set to friends only, and that it confirmed the feeling that he had.
Well...
Later that day when I went to see him at the shop, he kept saying that over and over - that something was "wrong" and he thought something happened in Vegas that was bad.
I told him nothing bad happened, and I was with my mom the whole time. But he kept on insisting that something went on. For HOURS this went on, and I would stop looking him in the eye.
In the repeated barrage of questions, there were questions like "Did anyone make a pass at you?" and "Did anyone kiss you out there?" I decided that I still didn't want him to know that I went to see Tony Crane, so I continued to deny everything.
So finally after a few hours of that, I broke down and told him that I met Tony Crane after the show and he DID kiss me on the cheek afterward. But he was just being nice and polite.
He was furious at me for lying to him and tried to give me the whole "When you're in a relationship, you have to be 100% completely open and honest and you can't keep anything from the person you're with"...spiel. Bah.
And maybe he IS right - I DID lie to him. I didn't want anything to stop me from something I'd waited 10 years to do - including him using things like guilt and jealousy.
He asked me if I had to do it all over again, if I had to lie to him, if I would.
I said yes, that I would do it all over again. I meant it.
We fought a whole lot more after that - he tried to bring various family members and friend's names into the argument, I'm still angry about the fact that he doesn't have a good job, a license, or a car...yeah, it got ugly.
We are OK now, I think, though. He went out and bought flowers and wine and lit a bunch of candles and told me that what we were fighing over was nothing, absolutely nothing, and that we shouldn't break up over it.
I was pretty close to ending our relationship there. I absolutely HATE having to tell someone every little fart I let - literally. Sometimes if I'm in the bathroom for more than 60 seconds he will come to the door and ask me if I'm OK, or will come in.
I HATE that - I wasn't raised that way - I love bathroom privacy and he will try to come into the bathroom when I am trying to shower or take a dump. If you're reading this right now, Colin, and I know you will eventually read this - please STOP doing that. I know you would rather me tell you this in person, but I just now thought of it.
He tries to be so helpful - a little too helpful, to the point of where it is annoying sometimes. He's always asking me for no reason if everything is OK. If I want help, I will ask you for it. Sometimes a little too much subservience in a man is annoying and a turn-off. I know you want to help me, so if I need help, I will ask you.
So...that's the Cliffs Notes version of what happened. I hope we don't ever fight that badly again. I don't plan on seeing Tony Crane any time soon again in the future (*cries*) so...it is what it is. Thanks for being there for me, guys.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Maybe if you just told him before and didn't let it end up as a big deal it wouldn't be so bad.
But then again if he's excessively jealous or clingy that can really suck.
Maybe he just picked up on your secret crush and it all got blown out of proportion.
For everyone's sake I think it'd be best to be up front about how you feel -- if you want to see this actor guy it shouldn't be a big deal, and if you think he's too subservient or whatever call him on it.
I think what you're saying is true people how to know each others boundaries and respect or else it gets really aggravating.
that's just my two cents at least
I totally agree with Mr. Stompbox when he said "It's sad that you even felt you had to hide from him that you had a fantastic time and met a celebrity you really like." So what if it's a celebrity crush? I mean really. I think the fact you lied to him sucks. I know that I would be pissed too. I see that something small changed into something big when it shouldn't have. I'm a guy and "we" and use that figuratively can usually tell when something is out of place. Men get jealous, any man who says he doesn't is full of it, in one way or another. I also agree with Fred when he said "Maybe if you just told him before and didn't let it end up as a big deal it wouldn't be so bad. We all make bad decisions and nobody but God is perfect. Every action we take, every decision we make, everything we do can cause and immediate effect on those around us. Whatever we do it will come back in spades. That is not a threat, merely an observation. Those who do good, get good. Those who do bad, get bad. People who go around sharing a bit of love and kindness get rewarded with the same coming back. You seem like a pretty cool girl, and I think your man really loves you for you. I think you love him as well, things will work out. I have taken your advice and have joined some groups on here. I even put up a couple of threads I just need to give it time and learn how to use all the features here on SG. So far it's ok. I joined a few groups and put up a thread. I wish everyone the best all around.