Top 13 facts you didn't know about Patrick Fucking Renk.
By Dark Matter Dave.
1. Patrick Fukking Renk once scored a rushing touchdown, went through the stadium wall and killed 30 fans and then split a beer truck in half in the parking lot before he stopped. Then he ate the football and started slurping up the broken glass.
2. Patrick Fukking Renk cut his right arm because a chick didn't believe he could. He played his guitar with his teeth and still won Heavy Frequency Guitarist of the Year.
3. Patrick Fukking Renk invented meedly meedly and still collects royalties.
4. Patrick Fukking Renk killed 32 hitch-hikers in one summer. Still a county record in rural Montana.
5. Patrick Fukking Renk didn't like the location of his business, so he picked it up and walked it across town to a better spot. It was a factory.
6. Patrick Fukking Renk doesn't sleep, like ever. He just levitates three inches above the floor of his dojo.
7. One time Patrick Fukking Renk got kicked by a horse. The horse is still dead.
8. Patrick Fukking Renk shot himself out of a cannon and destroyed Cleveland.
9. Patrick Fukking Renk can knock over a pyramid of beer kegs with a ping pong ball.
10. One time Patrick Fukking Renk was thirsty so he drank the Atlantic Ocean and pissed out the Pacific.
By Dark Matter Dave.
1. Patrick Fukking Renk once scored a rushing touchdown, went through the stadium wall and killed 30 fans and then split a beer truck in half in the parking lot before he stopped. Then he ate the football and started slurping up the broken glass.
2. Patrick Fukking Renk cut his right arm because a chick didn't believe he could. He played his guitar with his teeth and still won Heavy Frequency Guitarist of the Year.
3. Patrick Fukking Renk invented meedly meedly and still collects royalties.
4. Patrick Fukking Renk killed 32 hitch-hikers in one summer. Still a county record in rural Montana.
5. Patrick Fukking Renk didn't like the location of his business, so he picked it up and walked it across town to a better spot. It was a factory.
6. Patrick Fukking Renk doesn't sleep, like ever. He just levitates three inches above the floor of his dojo.
7. One time Patrick Fukking Renk got kicked by a horse. The horse is still dead.
8. Patrick Fukking Renk shot himself out of a cannon and destroyed Cleveland.
9. Patrick Fukking Renk can knock over a pyramid of beer kegs with a ping pong ball.
10. One time Patrick Fukking Renk was thirsty so he drank the Atlantic Ocean and pissed out the Pacific.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
ratbugdave:
im still alive...are you? 
sureality:
I am so glad you enjoyed the new Alexsandria Shoot. Check out my journal for behind the scenes.