Well its the countdown to the punk nite blowout, and boy do i have mixed emotions about the whole fucking night. With it being my last show with the band, and possibly, my last show ever im excited, sad and angry all at once.
Ive lost 3 best friends in the blink of an eye due to the "we are rockstars" or better yet "we think we are rock stars" ego's. 5 years came to an end very very quick. Being replaced before i even found out i was "holding them back" and getting kicked out because i have a different viewpoint then all of them and i wanted to go in a different direction then where they are heading. I wanted to write music that i enjoyed playing and had fun playing...they wanted to write radio songs and "get famous"
My direction included playing shows, shows, shows, shows and some more shows. Their direction is record, record, record send it to labels and get signed. I looked as the band as a hobby i would have loved to make into a career. They want to make it a job. Jobs and Careers are two different things...jobs are something we HAVE to do in order to survive and live. A career is something you strived for all your life because you love doing whatever it is that you do. I want a career not a job. And when they realize the've turned into a job..it will be too late
In a way i want to wish them the best of luck, hold my head up and go out in style at Punk Nite this saturday. In another way i want to see them all crash and burn so they can see immaturity and ego's get you NOWHERE. I think ill go with the latter, But i will hold my head up and go out in style.
This whole situation had made me realize i have to work on myself and make myself better at everything i do. I am on a mission to find myself and start over. I finally get a fresh start and plan on taking advantage of this fresh start at the best of my ability. I can now get my priorities straight...they havent been in 5 years.
CHEERS AND HERE IS TO THE FUTURE!
Dude, im addicted to powerbars. They are great. Ive been working out almost everday after work too..it makes ya feel good. Well back to work i go!
If you are reading this and are going to be at punk nite this saturday...make sure you say hello and ill buy you a shot!
Strung Out - Crossroads
"i find myself here once again under clouds of indecision reflections looking right through me i can't believe the lies we tell ourselves the music used to be everything the music used to heal but business soon becomes reality and nothing left inside is real dysfunction's all that we see true allow my best to see this through got nothing left to give you now i gotta find a better way see our anger shining through at the crossroads in our way turned against each other with the games we all like to play looking straight ahead it's hard to see things eye to eye not at all what it used to be something that i can't deny and now i leave it up to you allow my best to see this through got nothing left to give you now i gotta find a better way before i lose another part of me now i can't watch what the world went wrong the moment is gone the machine is grown this track has drug me down, we're what we used to be running from a curse that we thought we'd never see you cut me out but i cut you in i see you again and it's just a road"
Ive lost 3 best friends in the blink of an eye due to the "we are rockstars" or better yet "we think we are rock stars" ego's. 5 years came to an end very very quick. Being replaced before i even found out i was "holding them back" and getting kicked out because i have a different viewpoint then all of them and i wanted to go in a different direction then where they are heading. I wanted to write music that i enjoyed playing and had fun playing...they wanted to write radio songs and "get famous"
My direction included playing shows, shows, shows, shows and some more shows. Their direction is record, record, record send it to labels and get signed. I looked as the band as a hobby i would have loved to make into a career. They want to make it a job. Jobs and Careers are two different things...jobs are something we HAVE to do in order to survive and live. A career is something you strived for all your life because you love doing whatever it is that you do. I want a career not a job. And when they realize the've turned into a job..it will be too late
In a way i want to wish them the best of luck, hold my head up and go out in style at Punk Nite this saturday. In another way i want to see them all crash and burn so they can see immaturity and ego's get you NOWHERE. I think ill go with the latter, But i will hold my head up and go out in style.
This whole situation had made me realize i have to work on myself and make myself better at everything i do. I am on a mission to find myself and start over. I finally get a fresh start and plan on taking advantage of this fresh start at the best of my ability. I can now get my priorities straight...they havent been in 5 years.
CHEERS AND HERE IS TO THE FUTURE!

Dude, im addicted to powerbars. They are great. Ive been working out almost everday after work too..it makes ya feel good. Well back to work i go!
If you are reading this and are going to be at punk nite this saturday...make sure you say hello and ill buy you a shot!
Strung Out - Crossroads
"i find myself here once again under clouds of indecision reflections looking right through me i can't believe the lies we tell ourselves the music used to be everything the music used to heal but business soon becomes reality and nothing left inside is real dysfunction's all that we see true allow my best to see this through got nothing left to give you now i gotta find a better way see our anger shining through at the crossroads in our way turned against each other with the games we all like to play looking straight ahead it's hard to see things eye to eye not at all what it used to be something that i can't deny and now i leave it up to you allow my best to see this through got nothing left to give you now i gotta find a better way before i lose another part of me now i can't watch what the world went wrong the moment is gone the machine is grown this track has drug me down, we're what we used to be running from a curse that we thought we'd never see you cut me out but i cut you in i see you again and it's just a road"
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I'm having to work my ass off for the next few months so I can afford it - hence the impatience! It seems like all work and no reward at the moment.
But it'll be worth it - I've not been on a proper holiday for about 3 years...