Hi! I'm RisaRae, and this is my story: the journey I took to get here, on this site, with all you beautiful, confident women.
I was first diagnosed with cancer when I was 22 and, up until then, had never had so much as a broken bone. I still had my tonsils, my appendix, my wisdom teeth; I had never had surgery for anything. I didn't even have allergies, for goodness sakes. I was thrown into a world of uncertainty and fear. They told me my odds were great, at first. As an otherwise healthy young adult, my oncologist assured me that I would live, but things would be crazy hard for awhile. Since my diagnosis in March 2015, my odds of cure have gone from 80-90% down to 40%. I was in remission briefly in the summer, but the cancer returned less than two months after my scans indicated I was cancer-free. Since then, life has been hell on earth, and I have undergone so many different treatments that it would be impossible and exasperating (for you guys and for me) to explain it all in one brief blog post.
The point is that the road has been unbelievably rough since then. My boyfriend, who I had been dating at the time of my diagnosis, finally jumped ship in November 2015, weeks after my birthday and right after an attempt at suicide on my part. We'd been dating 13 months. I get it. People get scared. But the way I see it, people in love stick it out, because sometimes, life throws some impossibly difficult stuff at you, and you can't just walk away every time. I was (and still am) incredibly hurt, angry, and confused. But I am hanging in there with the help of medication, meditation, and mindfulness (my three M's!)
There have been some great happenings in my life since my diagnosis, so it hasn't all been doom and gloom. I am a professional artist now, and that brings me more joy than I ever imagined possible. I actually met a fabulous SG through my art business...and here I am.
I want to show the world, and myself, that cancer doesn't mean shit. Baldness, weakness, tiredness, scars, all of that is nothing when you are able to access a deeper part of you, your spirit, and shine through the darkness. I can't do much some days, not always because I feel physically sick, but because emotionally, I am damaged. But I know that life is messy and beautiful at the same time, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
If you are suffering in any way yourself, know your worth, know you're beautiful, and know that you can only be held back if you let your mind decide that that's your only choice. I hope anyone reading this is inspired to see their own challenges differently and to look in the mirror with their head held just a little higher.
Love,
RisaRae
