There are times when I'm so disappointed with everything I just want to blow my brains out. Why is it that people are so fucking stupid? Has the concept of "treat others as you would like to be treated" just gone out the fucking window? I don't understand.
How can the woman who loves you suddenly turn into this whole other person? One minute she's upset because we've hardly seen each other for a couple of days, the next she's leaving you on the side of the ride to wait for a taxi because you've rolled your ankle and can't walk and she still wants to go out and drink with her workmates? I would never, could never, do that to her, no matter how angry I was.
I broke down in the taxi. The driver asked me what was wrong. Why would he care? Why wouldn't the girl I love stay with me when I'm obviously in a lot of fucking pain? The guy drove me to my door and gave me a discount because I was such a pathetic sight. There I am, in fucking tears, dressed like a fucking leprachaun (we were at her midyear staff party), wincing every time I move.
When I got home I smashed my phone.
Now I'm looking at pictures of naked women while my girlfriend is out on the piss, doing fuck knows what. I make mix CDs for her and keep the playlists on my computer. I'm listening to one at the moment. Very fucking sad.
I know I disappoint people, I know I can be a bad person, but fuck, I can't even walk properly. I just wish she was here, that we hadn't parted on such bad terms. It's not that I don't trust her, I just have the worst imagination.
Fuck I hate this shit.
How can the woman who loves you suddenly turn into this whole other person? One minute she's upset because we've hardly seen each other for a couple of days, the next she's leaving you on the side of the ride to wait for a taxi because you've rolled your ankle and can't walk and she still wants to go out and drink with her workmates? I would never, could never, do that to her, no matter how angry I was.
I broke down in the taxi. The driver asked me what was wrong. Why would he care? Why wouldn't the girl I love stay with me when I'm obviously in a lot of fucking pain? The guy drove me to my door and gave me a discount because I was such a pathetic sight. There I am, in fucking tears, dressed like a fucking leprachaun (we were at her midyear staff party), wincing every time I move.
When I got home I smashed my phone.
Now I'm looking at pictures of naked women while my girlfriend is out on the piss, doing fuck knows what. I make mix CDs for her and keep the playlists on my computer. I'm listening to one at the moment. Very fucking sad.
I know I disappoint people, I know I can be a bad person, but fuck, I can't even walk properly. I just wish she was here, that we hadn't parted on such bad terms. It's not that I don't trust her, I just have the worst imagination.
Fuck I hate this shit.