So FUCK
Just when were things were kinda looking up.
My stupid ex boyfriend had to walk back into my life.
I'm not talking about Matt... Fuck that kid..
But nah, my ex from over a year ago, Ryan.
I am sooo in love with him it's soo rediculous
We almost got married once :[
I'm glad we didn't
but I'm kinda sad it never happened.
I was doing soo well without him in my life.
Even though these past two weeks have been terrible
and he's the only thing I thought about.
I have mad depression problems
like I've never really been happy or content with my life ever.
Except for when it was me and him.
I've had A LOT of boyfriends.
and A LOT of people who've tried to make me happy
but no one has ever exceeeded except for him.
I refused to see him.
I used to refuse to talk to him.
But I can't not have him in my life.
I don't even know why I'm soo in love with him.
I've been able to get over dudes in pretty much an instant.
But he's what completes me.
I devoted over a year of my life to that kid..
Only just to get let down
But it hurts soo much
to know that you have a girlfriend
but you still text me
telling me how much you love me and wanna be with me :[
I can't take it
It breaks my heart more than anything has :[ :[ :[ :[
Just when were things were kinda looking up.
My stupid ex boyfriend had to walk back into my life.
I'm not talking about Matt... Fuck that kid..
But nah, my ex from over a year ago, Ryan.
I am sooo in love with him it's soo rediculous
We almost got married once :[
I'm glad we didn't
but I'm kinda sad it never happened.
I was doing soo well without him in my life.
Even though these past two weeks have been terrible
and he's the only thing I thought about.
I have mad depression problems
like I've never really been happy or content with my life ever.
Except for when it was me and him.
I've had A LOT of boyfriends.
and A LOT of people who've tried to make me happy
but no one has ever exceeeded except for him.
I refused to see him.
I used to refuse to talk to him.
But I can't not have him in my life.
I don't even know why I'm soo in love with him.
I've been able to get over dudes in pretty much an instant.
But he's what completes me.
I devoted over a year of my life to that kid..
Only just to get let down
But it hurts soo much
to know that you have a girlfriend
but you still text me
telling me how much you love me and wanna be with me :[
I can't take it
It breaks my heart more than anything has :[ :[ :[ :[
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
and A LOT of people who've tried to make me happy
but no one has ever exceeeded except for him."
Ok, the boss-like, old lady part of me says "I think you meant succeeded, Jenn!"
The friend part of me says: Dude. This is a lame platitude, but its also true: Nobody else can MAKE you happy. It sucks, but its true. Boys and friends and money can all help, but if something is not right with you, they will NEVER make you happy. And if they do temporarily, when it stops working, you will blame the relationship or the boy or the moneyy, when in fact, it was there all along. It was just being masked/hidden.
I understand feeling like you need someone in your life, but if he has a gf, I say you tell him to stop calling and texting you until he doesn't. Its not healthy, and its not FAIR. He is getting the best of all possible worlds, and being a dick to both you AND his gf. Not right.
Lady, you need to figure out what makes you happy (or at least content) that ISN'T another person. Then you will really be in a place to be with someone who is good for you.