I really hope I'm not overreacting.
I Haven't had a drink in about 2 years (on 12/29) and It's been really easy for me to stay sober. Arizona can instead of Tallboy at a party, losing weight from lack of beer, all that. This past January, I started dating someone. We tried to do this a couple of years ago, but she gave me the cold shoulder and I got a little bitter about it; but 4 years can really help a person grow up (in this case 2 people grow up). I'd seen her drink before, no big deal, although she is a bit of a "high school" kinds drunk. You know the exaggerated lack of balance, and a bit too...girly for my tastes, I guess.
Fast forward to Christmas...awesome day. She bought me an acoustic bass guitar, which I heart. She came to my family's Noche Buena, the traditional Cuban Christmas eve Pig roast, and she's Jewish. Very cool of her. And then, I had a gig Christmas Night. I go, she arrives later (we live about 45 minutes away from each other; opposite direction style) and my band plays. Now, she had told me she wanted to drink, and I expressed my discomfort with her when she is drunk, but she promised me she wouldn't go overboard. When M-66's set was done, she had had about 2 liquor drinks and an Irish Car bomb. She was buzzed or tipsy or whatever. But, she was still cool, still herself. Then, Our Buddy buys her another Irish car bomb (which she starts sipping on) and 2 bands later, she transforms.
She becomes a mess. Throwing up everywhere (literally, it didn't occur to her that she sould puke in a toilet and not on my lap or inside her own car), telling me to take her to her car and asking me to stay with her, which I did for the rest of the show, about an hour and a half, and a lot of crying about being embarrassed that I was seeing her like this but not wanting me to leave her side.
The experience of seeing someone I love that out of control on alcohol, a substance I am currently not allowed to touch by law, kind of fucked me up. The strong, independent woman I love melted away into a crass, overly needy princess for whom I wasn't good enough. She is absolutely not a regular drinker and that was the first time that myself or any of our mutual friends (which are many) have seen her in such a state.
A Friend took her to crash at her house which was nearby the venue. I caught a ride home b/c I had to work early the next day, and I had to get out of my puked-all-over pants to do that. I called her as soon as I got home to check up on her and she had absolutely no recollection of anything happening, aka a blackout. I told her not to drink in front of me at least for the time being, to which she agreed, stating that she would not want to drink for a long time.
But this is the part that gets me, was the drunken Girlfriend experience, the wreck of a woman who couldn't even move her head over a bit to avoid puking on herself just a "she had too much to drink" experience or was it a "truth serum" kind of experience? She's been real quiet and not as conversive since the experience, which makes contact hard, because we live just far enough to qualify as a long distace type relationship most of the time. I can't go see her in person b/c of my Probation, and the no driving that comes along with a DUI Probation in the State of Florida. Today in particular, she's been real curt in her conversations with me. That "uh-oh, something's wrong" feeling that has happened in all of my failed relationships just came into my stomach. Anyone have some advice for me?
I Haven't had a drink in about 2 years (on 12/29) and It's been really easy for me to stay sober. Arizona can instead of Tallboy at a party, losing weight from lack of beer, all that. This past January, I started dating someone. We tried to do this a couple of years ago, but she gave me the cold shoulder and I got a little bitter about it; but 4 years can really help a person grow up (in this case 2 people grow up). I'd seen her drink before, no big deal, although she is a bit of a "high school" kinds drunk. You know the exaggerated lack of balance, and a bit too...girly for my tastes, I guess.
Fast forward to Christmas...awesome day. She bought me an acoustic bass guitar, which I heart. She came to my family's Noche Buena, the traditional Cuban Christmas eve Pig roast, and she's Jewish. Very cool of her. And then, I had a gig Christmas Night. I go, she arrives later (we live about 45 minutes away from each other; opposite direction style) and my band plays. Now, she had told me she wanted to drink, and I expressed my discomfort with her when she is drunk, but she promised me she wouldn't go overboard. When M-66's set was done, she had had about 2 liquor drinks and an Irish Car bomb. She was buzzed or tipsy or whatever. But, she was still cool, still herself. Then, Our Buddy buys her another Irish car bomb (which she starts sipping on) and 2 bands later, she transforms.
She becomes a mess. Throwing up everywhere (literally, it didn't occur to her that she sould puke in a toilet and not on my lap or inside her own car), telling me to take her to her car and asking me to stay with her, which I did for the rest of the show, about an hour and a half, and a lot of crying about being embarrassed that I was seeing her like this but not wanting me to leave her side.
The experience of seeing someone I love that out of control on alcohol, a substance I am currently not allowed to touch by law, kind of fucked me up. The strong, independent woman I love melted away into a crass, overly needy princess for whom I wasn't good enough. She is absolutely not a regular drinker and that was the first time that myself or any of our mutual friends (which are many) have seen her in such a state.
A Friend took her to crash at her house which was nearby the venue. I caught a ride home b/c I had to work early the next day, and I had to get out of my puked-all-over pants to do that. I called her as soon as I got home to check up on her and she had absolutely no recollection of anything happening, aka a blackout. I told her not to drink in front of me at least for the time being, to which she agreed, stating that she would not want to drink for a long time.
But this is the part that gets me, was the drunken Girlfriend experience, the wreck of a woman who couldn't even move her head over a bit to avoid puking on herself just a "she had too much to drink" experience or was it a "truth serum" kind of experience? She's been real quiet and not as conversive since the experience, which makes contact hard, because we live just far enough to qualify as a long distace type relationship most of the time. I can't go see her in person b/c of my Probation, and the no driving that comes along with a DUI Probation in the State of Florida. Today in particular, she's been real curt in her conversations with me. That "uh-oh, something's wrong" feeling that has happened in all of my failed relationships just came into my stomach. Anyone have some advice for me?
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
raxid_star:
Also, I responded to your comment on my blog with a comment. i dont know how this site works yet so I dont know if I did that right. Just so you know!
ruthi:
Thankkk you for telling me about that! Jeeez, I freaking love Jenny Lewis.