richiedagger

i fucking hate being what everyone expects me to be. everyone expects me to be the stupid drunk punk kid all the time, everyone expects me to not be able to play bass just beacuse all my friends are in bands and they can play really good, everyone expects me to throw shit and cuss and fight when i get pissed off, everyone expects me to be on SG all the time. i can't say ive done much to discredit what they expect...i do all of those things...but i also do alot of other shit. alot of good shit. my friend called me at four in the morning last night because he had a concussion and a broken nose, and he was freakin out and didnt know what to do cuz he didnt want to wake up his mom or go to the hospital. when i asked him why he called me he said i was the only person he could call that would be there for him at 4 in the morning. and im glad its not in the list of things they expect from me because i do it because i love my friends, but sometimes i wish they expected it...to show that they atleast notice it, because im sick and fuckin tired of this shit going unnoticed. everyone just chooses to see the other things in me...im the fuckin crazy friend that drinks alot, but none of them fuckin care about me. none of them realize that when theyre havin problems im also the person they call. i need some fuckin time to take care of myself, because nobody cares that i take care of them at my own expense. fuck. its a fuckin sick feeling when you realize half of your friends dont really care about you.