well everybody im back from Santa Barbara! Sooooooooo nice to be back in SF.
it was rad to see all my friends...including some i haven't seen in over a year. but unfortunately since i went with my "ex" there was drama. oh well next time i'll go by myself. just hang out with the guys...call me crazy but hangin out with my best friends is way better than goin to parties for the sole purpose of hookin up with drunk girls...i realized that this weekend.
i realized alot of things actually...i guess you could say it was an enlightening trip. not because of any one thing someone did...just the whole situation.
Friday night we went to watch the UCSB mens soccer team play. soccer is one of the three things that makes me happy...i played for fourteen years of my life. Friends, music, soccer...not necessarily in that order all the time. but thats it, thats all i need to be happy is those three things. it was a pretty good game....it wound up being two-nil UCSB which was cool cuz my buds were happy, and i know a guy on the team. but the part that got me thinking a lot about my life was when they scored the first goal.i got chills...not just like "wow nice play" chills...no i mean hardcore chills. i couldn't move...all i could think about is how that guy felt right then...i remembered when i played how scoring a goal is the greatest feeling in the world...better than any sex i've ever had, better than being in love, better than anything. then i got to thinking...im not happy right now. im not depressed all the time, but theres something missing from my life. i hate thinking real deep about my life...i try to stay away from it because i feel like im second guessing myself and thats just not something i do...but this weekend im glad i did...because i realized so much.
1) i dont need girls to be happy. infact i seem to fall for the wrong girls anyways because every relationship i've ever had has gotten shorter and they care about me less and less. if anything, atleast for right now, i need less girls in my life. so im staying away from women for a while. sorry ladies.
2) my best friends are the most amazing group of people i could ever imagine of the face of the earth.
3) i realized something that i've realized many times before but never took to heart...i dont need what society tells me i do...im not gonna die cold and alone if i dont get a job in front of a computer makin a million bucks an hour so i can buy a new sportscar to impress the ladies with. i just need to do whatever it takes to make myself happy, to feel like i accomplished what i wanted to in my time on this earth. hence my decision to seriously start planning for dropping out of school and gettin a band going.
huh...feels good to write all this shit out.
in short i am gonna do whatever it takes to play in a band. play a real show on a real stage in front of real people...no more jumping around in my house bangin on my guitar shit. i need to play shows.
jesus this was a long entry...sorry if i bored you all...thanks for readin tho.
oh check out my pics i uploaded a few from the weekend.
must sleep now.
it was rad to see all my friends...including some i haven't seen in over a year. but unfortunately since i went with my "ex" there was drama. oh well next time i'll go by myself. just hang out with the guys...call me crazy but hangin out with my best friends is way better than goin to parties for the sole purpose of hookin up with drunk girls...i realized that this weekend.
i realized alot of things actually...i guess you could say it was an enlightening trip. not because of any one thing someone did...just the whole situation.
Friday night we went to watch the UCSB mens soccer team play. soccer is one of the three things that makes me happy...i played for fourteen years of my life. Friends, music, soccer...not necessarily in that order all the time. but thats it, thats all i need to be happy is those three things. it was a pretty good game....it wound up being two-nil UCSB which was cool cuz my buds were happy, and i know a guy on the team. but the part that got me thinking a lot about my life was when they scored the first goal.i got chills...not just like "wow nice play" chills...no i mean hardcore chills. i couldn't move...all i could think about is how that guy felt right then...i remembered when i played how scoring a goal is the greatest feeling in the world...better than any sex i've ever had, better than being in love, better than anything. then i got to thinking...im not happy right now. im not depressed all the time, but theres something missing from my life. i hate thinking real deep about my life...i try to stay away from it because i feel like im second guessing myself and thats just not something i do...but this weekend im glad i did...because i realized so much.
1) i dont need girls to be happy. infact i seem to fall for the wrong girls anyways because every relationship i've ever had has gotten shorter and they care about me less and less. if anything, atleast for right now, i need less girls in my life. so im staying away from women for a while. sorry ladies.
2) my best friends are the most amazing group of people i could ever imagine of the face of the earth.
3) i realized something that i've realized many times before but never took to heart...i dont need what society tells me i do...im not gonna die cold and alone if i dont get a job in front of a computer makin a million bucks an hour so i can buy a new sportscar to impress the ladies with. i just need to do whatever it takes to make myself happy, to feel like i accomplished what i wanted to in my time on this earth. hence my decision to seriously start planning for dropping out of school and gettin a band going.
huh...feels good to write all this shit out.
in short i am gonna do whatever it takes to play in a band. play a real show on a real stage in front of real people...no more jumping around in my house bangin on my guitar shit. i need to play shows.
jesus this was a long entry...sorry if i bored you all...thanks for readin tho.
oh check out my pics i uploaded a few from the weekend.
must sleep now.
rubbersoul:
I went down this road years ago and I have definite thoughts about it I will share with you at some point. Typing sounds like a drag at the moment. I'm going to see The White Stripes and Yeah Yeah Yeahs tonight. I'm psyched about that.