I feel pretty rubbish, I'm not going sugar coat it.
I can't wait for Christmas to be over, I am anxious about so many things, and unsure of so many other things.
I love my job, it's not like how I imagine other jobs to be. We're more of a community which is weird for a pub, but I like it. Things are changing after Christmas, it's all being kept hush, and people don't know that I know that somethings going to happen. I'm not stupid, I keep getting told little things, and so I've been piecing it all together and I am quite excited.
I just want to know where I stand and where Shauny stands in it all. I'm pretty sure my becoming Bar Manager was not a rash decision and has something to do with it all. Mhmm.
I feel a bit sad when I think about it, and realise that all I ever really have to talk about is work. It's taken over my life, but I wouldn't have so many things if it weren't for it.
I want to do some modelling. That's my goal for next year. Nothing amazing, just something to put some self confidence in me. I'm sure I'm not as ugly as I feel. If anyone wants to do anything with me let me know!!
I'd love to make some plans.
I have a shit social life at the moment and I hardly see my boyfriend. Christmas is going to be tough.
Peace out.
Hope you guys have a good'un xxx
I can't wait for Christmas to be over, I am anxious about so many things, and unsure of so many other things.
I love my job, it's not like how I imagine other jobs to be. We're more of a community which is weird for a pub, but I like it. Things are changing after Christmas, it's all being kept hush, and people don't know that I know that somethings going to happen. I'm not stupid, I keep getting told little things, and so I've been piecing it all together and I am quite excited.
I just want to know where I stand and where Shauny stands in it all. I'm pretty sure my becoming Bar Manager was not a rash decision and has something to do with it all. Mhmm.
I feel a bit sad when I think about it, and realise that all I ever really have to talk about is work. It's taken over my life, but I wouldn't have so many things if it weren't for it.
I want to do some modelling. That's my goal for next year. Nothing amazing, just something to put some self confidence in me. I'm sure I'm not as ugly as I feel. If anyone wants to do anything with me let me know!!
I'd love to make some plans.
I have a shit social life at the moment and I hardly see my boyfriend. Christmas is going to be tough.
Peace out.
Hope you guys have a good'un xxx
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Dean
that is;
i wouldn't have any of my studio stuff, cameras, ipods, phones, car or indeed any of the nice things in life, which i suppose i now take for granted.
it does sometimes seem rather sad that you live to work (or work to live) - i forget which one i am. but as you say, it enables you to do/have things that wouldn't otherwise be.
as i said in a previous post on your blog - i would like to collaborate with you (in regard to your wishes to model). and for the record (judging by your current pics) - anything you do with modelling - i'm sure will turn out amazing.
you can't work all the hours god sent and have a social life....i hope that's the case otherwise i now feel shite!
i do hope you enjoy your christmas - even if it is just for a second!!!
good luck with your goals - i hope you achieve them....
Matt