If one day you feel the need to do so.
Consider the stars in the sky.
You will notice
Certainly
That they do not shine
With their own light.
But you will notice
That they make themselves
Tiny
Next to the sun.
If one day you feel the need to do so
Make yourself small to grow bigger.
-Njoh Movelle


I'm coming out the other side of a grueling period of misery and pain... and the light is so bright it hurts my eyes. I had to get outside of it in order to see the forest for the trees, as it were. The perspective from a safe and comfortable enviironment is SHOCKING. I made the right choice to leave my family, even if it was one of the most painful things I've ever done. Someday I will get over the guilt and shame, and be able to fully accept that it was okay to do what is best for me.

Being loved and cared for is something I should be comfortable with, but I feel as though it is so weird and foreign, that I don't deserve it. Being around my chosen family, who remind me every day that I do indeed deserve this, is bringing me back to life. One day at a time is no longer an obnoxious cliche in my world. Every day I feel more capable, stronger, more alive, better able to take care of myself and make the changes that I have to in order to be healthy and (hopefully) happy. I want to find that ever-elusive balance... and slowly but surely it looks like it may just work out.

I miss my interweb world though. I miss the running dialogue I so enjoyed with a few choice people here on sg and a couple other places. I will have to catch up on everyone's blogs. I miss being a part of your worlds

Pictures to come soon... things I have created, the beautiful people and animals I'm surrounded with, and it is SPRING here!!!!