Hello, beautiful people.
First of all, thank you all for the love on my previous blog entry.
It was unexpected and appreciated.
@penny asks "What are your pet peeves?"
To which I reply, "Sweetheart, how much time do you have?"
Strap in, ladies and gentlemen, because shit's about to get real.
You know how when you phone a business or, God help you, a government department, a recorded voice says "Your call is important to us"?
If my call was so important, why am I not already talking to an actual person?
I can understand the thinking behind it: why spend money hiring a receptionist when you can just have an automated system take incoming calls?
I'll tell you why. A little thing called Customer Service. If you're unfamiliar with the concept, Google it. I'll wait.
Back? Great! First impressions matter. If a potential client's first impression of your company is a voice recording, you are already operating from a position of weakness.
The voice recording is one thing. What is worse is the menu system.
You all know it.
For sales, press 1
For accounts, press 2
To experience your soul departing your body, press 3.
That's bad enough. But spare a thought for the poor bastard living in a 70s time warp with a rotary telephone. Because you, my retro loving friend, are royally screwed.
Next in the evolution of customer un-service, is something that clawed its way from the Ninth Circle of Hell:
The voice activated telephone service. Dear sweet Jesus.
Unless you know the specific word or phrase required to speak with a real person, you are also royally screwed.
What ends up happening is this: otherwise level-headed people completely lose their shit and have a stroke while screaming, "CUSTOMER SERVICE!" down their rotary telephone line.
That's me done for this week. Be kind to yourselves and each other.
@penny @missy