rhiannac

This is unbelieveable. Bryce just wandered down the hall to see me and I assumed it was just to see me and maybe distract me from my work (exam tomorrow) as he usually does. Nope.

He comes in, sits down on my bed and watches me work for awhile, stretched out in the way he always does, taking up the whole bed and nearly knocking the cat off. I work for a little while, talking to him and trying to discerne what's up since he hasn't jumped me like he normally does when he wants to get laid and he hasn't said yet what he wants. Finally, after a long, uncomfortable, early morning silence, I ask him what's up. It turns out he's canceling on me for tomorrow because apparently he's "not feeling well." He sure as hell seems fine to me. He says he's going to the doctor tomorrow to see about this cough he's got, but maybe he'll stop by the apartment later and we'll order pizza or something..

I really don't know what to do. This isn't the first time he's done this to me and I'm beginning to wonder what's up. I wish I could ask my friends about it but I don't want this to be a repeat of my last relationship. I was with Jake last time and he totally messed me up. I though he was cheating on me because he was so shifty and after awhile, it finally turned out he was. He totally made me feel like I wasn't good enough or I wasn't worth him. Piece of trash.

I asked my friends about Jake last time and they were no help. None of them have ever been in a really serious relationship before. Well, none that lasted more than 6 months at least. Unfortunately my friends seem to define finding a great guy as picking one up in a bar, fucking him, dating him for a week, then trashing him for the next bar guy that comes along. Plus, they hated Jake because they thought from the beginning that he was cheating on me (which he wasn't then) and just really didn't seem to trust him. It sure as hell didn't help that I constantly had them telling me that they'd seen him with other girls.

Fuck men.