rexx

sunday night. late.
the house has been empty all day, quiet.
just how i like it.
the lights downstairs have been out for months
outside its rainy and gray
just how i like it on a sunday afternoon.
grey when i watched the sunrise, beer in hand
whiskey drunk in the fresh morning air
grey when i woke up, late afternoon
grey as i read and wrote and drank coffee
grey as i sat down at a big, empty table
in the dark
strewn with coupons, pizza menus, and advertisements for sales on ground beef
and american cheese
and i sat there in silence
with my coffee and french fries
chewing slowly so as not to interrupt the sound of rain banging against the roof
and the little doggie footsteps atop the old wooden floors
its easier to feel alone in the rain
just how i like it
sundays are for loners and lovers
for solitude and fucking
and for giant plates of french fries in the dark
and looking at the empty bottle next to my incense
and feeling sad for that moment thinking,
old habits die hard
but the rain is picking up and the dog is snoring soundly
and life isn't bad.
it isn't bad at all.
i crack the window to feel the cool air on my face
and smell the rain
every so often the wind blows and the droplets come inside
and i let them
there is reality in the rain on my face
and the vast silence in darks of night, everywhere
and the tickle of a beard on the back of my neck when i fall asleep at night
and highway unfolding before me like a blood red carpet to the stars
a blood red carpet four light-years long
and at the end perhaps i'll burn. perhaps i won't.
but i'll know i lived simply. madly. and without fear.
and i always smiled.
and i always meant it.


and in the words of holderin:
"...openly I pledged my heart to the grave and suffering land,
and often in the consecrated night
I promised to love her faithfully until death, unafraid,
with her heavy burden of fatality,
and never to despise a single one of her enigmas."

ta'ta, for now.
<3 Rexx


monday morning smiles. for yinz.