ah, yes. the holidays. the time of year when i usually return to my hometown for as few days as possible and smile at the fact that i am leaving and everyone else must stay and return to their mundane lives shortly thereafter.
alas, the year has come when i am the one already here. which made me completely forget that tis the season for all the chumps from high school that sucked alot of dick and still do, but not literally because they were mostly fucking prudes, to return!
mostly i don't care.
however in 9th grade i became friends with a group of girls (the horror! i know...so out of character)
who immediatly ditched me in tenth grade when i became "bad"....drinking, pot smoking, partying, sneaking out, sexually active, black clothes wearing, etc..basically when i became the fine young lady that i am today
there is one that i am still friends with and consider one of my only TRUE female friends in this world. unfortunately she remains in this unbreakable crew. also unfortunately after they all went to college and became alcohol guzzling hooligans themselves they wanted to be friends with me again....
so tonight....like every holiday....
i commence into the world of females. i put a smile on my face. for the sake of my one dear friend. and sit with those girls (thank god we are now twenty one and this meeting will be filled with boozing....because i used to show up every christmas with a twelve of yeungling in my purse for sanity. no lie) and make conversation. it brings me totally out of my element and i feel like a teensy little fish from the alternative pond who got washed ashore onto the island of high heels and designer purses.
ok....so no one is forcing me. i sit there and smile and it usually makes me realize just how truly happy i am with my life. maybe i didn't go to college like everyone else. maybe i have made some mistakes. maybe i've broken the law and caused tens of thousands of dollars of explicit damage to motel rooms and totalled two cars drinking and driving and been locked up...more than once....
but hey, i have fucking lived. and although i'm sitting here now with my usual feeling of slight discomfort at the hang out that is about to ensue...i just realized that my life is awesome. and has been awesome. and is getting awesomer. so i'm going to go, open-minded as always, for the fourth year in a row, enjoy being with my lady friend...because i don't have many....and have a good fucking time. i don't want them to judge me, and i will go in as usual, not judging them....until after dinner at least.
maybe this time i'll tell them i'm naked on the internet...but probably not....i don't know how to give cpr...
well here goes nothin, i'm all set with plenty of cigs and a cheesy grin
p.s. thats what i look like in for real life. my hair is getting long! shit! i didn't even realize it was like that.
how do all you lovely people feel about hometowns and holidays? i used to think it was bittersweet....but now i realize even the bitter parts i secretly enjoy in some way....
if i don't talk to you before turkey day, have a good one. and a cold one on me
<3 Rex
alas, the year has come when i am the one already here. which made me completely forget that tis the season for all the chumps from high school that sucked alot of dick and still do, but not literally because they were mostly fucking prudes, to return!
mostly i don't care.
however in 9th grade i became friends with a group of girls (the horror! i know...so out of character)
who immediatly ditched me in tenth grade when i became "bad"....drinking, pot smoking, partying, sneaking out, sexually active, black clothes wearing, etc..basically when i became the fine young lady that i am today
there is one that i am still friends with and consider one of my only TRUE female friends in this world. unfortunately she remains in this unbreakable crew. also unfortunately after they all went to college and became alcohol guzzling hooligans themselves they wanted to be friends with me again....
so tonight....like every holiday....
i commence into the world of females. i put a smile on my face. for the sake of my one dear friend. and sit with those girls (thank god we are now twenty one and this meeting will be filled with boozing....because i used to show up every christmas with a twelve of yeungling in my purse for sanity. no lie) and make conversation. it brings me totally out of my element and i feel like a teensy little fish from the alternative pond who got washed ashore onto the island of high heels and designer purses.
ok....so no one is forcing me. i sit there and smile and it usually makes me realize just how truly happy i am with my life. maybe i didn't go to college like everyone else. maybe i have made some mistakes. maybe i've broken the law and caused tens of thousands of dollars of explicit damage to motel rooms and totalled two cars drinking and driving and been locked up...more than once....
but hey, i have fucking lived. and although i'm sitting here now with my usual feeling of slight discomfort at the hang out that is about to ensue...i just realized that my life is awesome. and has been awesome. and is getting awesomer. so i'm going to go, open-minded as always, for the fourth year in a row, enjoy being with my lady friend...because i don't have many....and have a good fucking time. i don't want them to judge me, and i will go in as usual, not judging them....until after dinner at least.
maybe this time i'll tell them i'm naked on the internet...but probably not....i don't know how to give cpr...
well here goes nothin, i'm all set with plenty of cigs and a cheesy grin
p.s. thats what i look like in for real life. my hair is getting long! shit! i didn't even realize it was like that.
how do all you lovely people feel about hometowns and holidays? i used to think it was bittersweet....but now i realize even the bitter parts i secretly enjoy in some way....
if i don't talk to you before turkey day, have a good one. and a cold one on me
<3 Rex
VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
elviss:
sexy girl in real lifeeeee ohhhhh yeeeah <3 love the hair im fucking jealous i just ripped out all of my extensions now i have short hair =( epic fail. Anyways I love your past it sounds so much like mine [fuckthatbullshit] so i feel for you and gotta love those family oriented holidays when the thought runs through your mind of just being open and like "hey bythewayimnakedontheinternet..." oops. but i think its in the best judgment to keep our pretty little mouths shut. move to chicago, lets be best friends so i can stop creepin on u on this site. lmao!
bowiee:
Your on your way to being complete. anything i can do to help..