well, i just got back to pittsburgh. surprisingly it wasn't freezing or snowing, much to my delight, because my phone is dead. my charger is in virginia. i had no means of contacting anyone because who the fuck memorizes phone numbers in this day and age. and if i had to come back to this god foresaken town and immediatly be forced to trudge home from the greyhound station while cursing the wind chill and frozen precipitation....well lets just say it wouldn 't have been pretty. i may even have made such an irrational decision as to not even leave the station, but buy a bus ticket to somewhere warm, sunny, and west and peace out of p-town once and for all.
actually, in all honesty, the thought crossed my mind. several times. and when you are sitting on a bus for ten hours straight, watching the road and the miles fly by, with entirely too much time to think and contemplate everything in your life, you have to wonder...what if i just did it? for under $99 you can get your happy ass anywhere you want to go in the united states of america my friend. (or so claimed the envelope holding my bus ticket). granted it might take you over a million years. not to mention global warming or the plague may take your life before you reach a suitable destination, considering greyhound is THE slowest form of transporting yourself around this country.
i actually don't mind, however. because i like long car rides. i love people watching. i love random conversation with people i know i will never see again in my life. i love the fact that maybe i will see them again, and how crazy that would be. i love that noone can contact me for that amount of time. i love crappy gas station food. i love the combination of sitting on my ass, reading, and listening to music. i love coming up with hilarious and/or disgustingly inappropriate things that D.O.T. could stand for other than department of transportation in the sign that says NO SMOKING ON THIS BUS BY ORDER OF THE D.O.T!
(demolishing orphuses [of] toddlers. droopy ostrich tits. deranged [by] oral [from] trannies. dingy old toenails. detractable orange testicles....well, this activity was more so implemented on the ride to virgina last thursday. i had a nice collection going. but i'm tired. and i don't remember. but err, you get the idea...)
but yeah. the ten hours of traversing the highway alone with your thoughts. headed to a place you really have no desire to return to (and you KNOW this is so, when you are going somewhere 5 hours away...yet are cursing the fact that the 10 hours its taking is way too soon to be back there...) your phone is inoperable. you've consumed so much coffee that your vision is blurring and you feel as though you just blew a fat line off of that piss-ridden bus station toilet that you couldn't bring yourself to use. and you are slightly outraged at the fact that you just paid 2 dollars for a bag of cheetos from a vending machine....you aren't exactly thinking rationally. especially when you've been reading anything by hunter s. thompson.
which, by the way..i'm reading the great shark hunt right now. obviously, its hst, and its awesome. but i just can't get into the second section on nixon. i tried for over an hour to get through like 20 pages but my brain was not having it. i hate not reading things in their entirety. but politics seriously do not interest me at all. i sometimes wonder if i will ever even register to vote. oh well. i don't care.
anyways..back to what i was saying. obviously, i came back. but if i had had either 1. a traveling buddy. or 2. a few drinks in me ..... my ass might still be on a greyhound bus. at least to ride around for a few more days and avoid the inevitable return to "the daily grind". ::cheesy horror film music plays::.
well shit, now that i rambled about that nonsense for a fucking year...
i came into contact with some pretty funny characters on the bus this weekend. on the way up, i was paired with a female forest ranger complete with cowboy hat. a friendly pediatrition who gave me a cig break buddy until we hit washington. a jamaican and his crying baby. and that was it. on the entire bus. reading thompson, i couldn't help but think of what kind of hilariously fucked up drawings ralph steadman could come up with on a greyhound trip. arriving in richmond an elderly man decided to start a conversation by telling me his dad just died which caused him to acquire 350,000 dollars, in addition to the 51,000 he just got from selling his classic harley on ebay, and that he had just quit his job that morning and was going wherever the wind blew. (ok, so i don't know if this is true...but if so....that's one lucky dude, besides the dad part.) then there are always the ranters, who scream bloody murder about the incompetency, filth, lack of reliability, and of course, the slowness, of everything having to do with greyhound. i want to strangle all of these people with their luggage tags. seriously, what the fuck do you expect? its greyhound. it will never change. and its fucking cheap. leave the poor employees alone. and my ears as well. thanks. my favorite on the return trip was the bling-tastic homeboy sitting next to me. i have never in my life seen such a wide array of rings, bracelets, watches, necklaces, and earrings adorning the bodyparts of one person. and i have also never seen someone, for TEN HOURS STRAIGHT, raising the roof, nodding their head, and continuiously making various facial expressions (which i suppose were related to whatever thug-tastic tunage was occuring in those 'diamond' studded headphones...) he never stopped, trust me. he was in my peripheral vision the entire time . crazy.
so yeah, a great weekend was sandwiched with some interesting travels as well. i always think back to the people i met who had been on the bus for something crazy like 5 days and how fucking happy they must be right now to be showered, sleeping in a bed, eating food that isn't sketchy, sitting on a toilet without fear of what sort of gona-sypha-herp-aides is lurking there. godspeed random road friends.
the bus went the exact same route that lessard-tard and i took when we moved to virginia beach. i couldn't help but laugh out loud (literally. really loud. by myself. i was that guy) thinking about how for the rest of life i will remember october 15th, 2006...hungover as hell. attempting to purchase alcohol between stops. apparently bus stops and their surrounding gas stations don't believe in the sale of beer or liquor. which results in desperatly scraping the resin out of my bowl in an attempt to get high on the 15 minute layover in baltimore. then snorting stackers off of a beat up copy of kerouac's on the road... just to see what sort of reaction the sound could get from the dark, silent bus. in a forced state of sobriety, we had to amuse ourselves. (i'm sure no one suspected the kid with the gauged ears and the girl in the jack daniels sweatshirt spouting off vulgarities, laughing insanely at random, and smoking way too many cigarettes). then there was john-loo. the silly asian bus driver who couldn't speak english and didn't know what state he was going to, but never wiped his ridiculously large grin off of his face. (a few days later, i named a motel room plant after him. so you know he was special). anyways making all those same stops made me remember that rather hilarious day in 06.
i go back to work tomorrow night. thats ok i guess. i have like, no hours for some reason. but whatever. after this week i better be back to 6 days a week. because i'm turning 21 very soon. and we all know what that is going to mean for my bank account.... :-D
man, i am fucking tired. i don't even think this entire blog of my rambling even had a point anywhere. i just felt like writing one.
i can't wait to get a phone charger tomorrow. i feel naked without it. even though i really don't use the phone for anything but my excessive text messaging habits. i just remembered that i get paid tomorrow, too. that is always fun at the end of the month when the entire thing goes straight to rent and bills. yay! :-)
there is a fucking fly buzzing around in my room. i have never seen a fly in this house, and now there is one. in my room of all places. and its a huge one at that. this must be a bad omen. "hey heather, this is pittsburgh writing. i just wanted to welcome you back with this god damned fucking mutant fly".
it is going around in a circle over and over and barely missing my head every time. what a jerk.
i'm going to stop typing now and catch up on some much needed sleep. i will probably read this tomorrow and wonder what the hell i thought i was accomplishing by writing this blog. i hope someone finds some sort of amusement out of tonight's babbling :-)
actually, in all honesty, the thought crossed my mind. several times. and when you are sitting on a bus for ten hours straight, watching the road and the miles fly by, with entirely too much time to think and contemplate everything in your life, you have to wonder...what if i just did it? for under $99 you can get your happy ass anywhere you want to go in the united states of america my friend. (or so claimed the envelope holding my bus ticket). granted it might take you over a million years. not to mention global warming or the plague may take your life before you reach a suitable destination, considering greyhound is THE slowest form of transporting yourself around this country.
i actually don't mind, however. because i like long car rides. i love people watching. i love random conversation with people i know i will never see again in my life. i love the fact that maybe i will see them again, and how crazy that would be. i love that noone can contact me for that amount of time. i love crappy gas station food. i love the combination of sitting on my ass, reading, and listening to music. i love coming up with hilarious and/or disgustingly inappropriate things that D.O.T. could stand for other than department of transportation in the sign that says NO SMOKING ON THIS BUS BY ORDER OF THE D.O.T!
(demolishing orphuses [of] toddlers. droopy ostrich tits. deranged [by] oral [from] trannies. dingy old toenails. detractable orange testicles....well, this activity was more so implemented on the ride to virgina last thursday. i had a nice collection going. but i'm tired. and i don't remember. but err, you get the idea...)
but yeah. the ten hours of traversing the highway alone with your thoughts. headed to a place you really have no desire to return to (and you KNOW this is so, when you are going somewhere 5 hours away...yet are cursing the fact that the 10 hours its taking is way too soon to be back there...) your phone is inoperable. you've consumed so much coffee that your vision is blurring and you feel as though you just blew a fat line off of that piss-ridden bus station toilet that you couldn't bring yourself to use. and you are slightly outraged at the fact that you just paid 2 dollars for a bag of cheetos from a vending machine....you aren't exactly thinking rationally. especially when you've been reading anything by hunter s. thompson.
which, by the way..i'm reading the great shark hunt right now. obviously, its hst, and its awesome. but i just can't get into the second section on nixon. i tried for over an hour to get through like 20 pages but my brain was not having it. i hate not reading things in their entirety. but politics seriously do not interest me at all. i sometimes wonder if i will ever even register to vote. oh well. i don't care.
anyways..back to what i was saying. obviously, i came back. but if i had had either 1. a traveling buddy. or 2. a few drinks in me ..... my ass might still be on a greyhound bus. at least to ride around for a few more days and avoid the inevitable return to "the daily grind". ::cheesy horror film music plays::.
well shit, now that i rambled about that nonsense for a fucking year...
i came into contact with some pretty funny characters on the bus this weekend. on the way up, i was paired with a female forest ranger complete with cowboy hat. a friendly pediatrition who gave me a cig break buddy until we hit washington. a jamaican and his crying baby. and that was it. on the entire bus. reading thompson, i couldn't help but think of what kind of hilariously fucked up drawings ralph steadman could come up with on a greyhound trip. arriving in richmond an elderly man decided to start a conversation by telling me his dad just died which caused him to acquire 350,000 dollars, in addition to the 51,000 he just got from selling his classic harley on ebay, and that he had just quit his job that morning and was going wherever the wind blew. (ok, so i don't know if this is true...but if so....that's one lucky dude, besides the dad part.) then there are always the ranters, who scream bloody murder about the incompetency, filth, lack of reliability, and of course, the slowness, of everything having to do with greyhound. i want to strangle all of these people with their luggage tags. seriously, what the fuck do you expect? its greyhound. it will never change. and its fucking cheap. leave the poor employees alone. and my ears as well. thanks. my favorite on the return trip was the bling-tastic homeboy sitting next to me. i have never in my life seen such a wide array of rings, bracelets, watches, necklaces, and earrings adorning the bodyparts of one person. and i have also never seen someone, for TEN HOURS STRAIGHT, raising the roof, nodding their head, and continuiously making various facial expressions (which i suppose were related to whatever thug-tastic tunage was occuring in those 'diamond' studded headphones...) he never stopped, trust me. he was in my peripheral vision the entire time . crazy.
so yeah, a great weekend was sandwiched with some interesting travels as well. i always think back to the people i met who had been on the bus for something crazy like 5 days and how fucking happy they must be right now to be showered, sleeping in a bed, eating food that isn't sketchy, sitting on a toilet without fear of what sort of gona-sypha-herp-aides is lurking there. godspeed random road friends.
the bus went the exact same route that lessard-tard and i took when we moved to virginia beach. i couldn't help but laugh out loud (literally. really loud. by myself. i was that guy) thinking about how for the rest of life i will remember october 15th, 2006...hungover as hell. attempting to purchase alcohol between stops. apparently bus stops and their surrounding gas stations don't believe in the sale of beer or liquor. which results in desperatly scraping the resin out of my bowl in an attempt to get high on the 15 minute layover in baltimore. then snorting stackers off of a beat up copy of kerouac's on the road... just to see what sort of reaction the sound could get from the dark, silent bus. in a forced state of sobriety, we had to amuse ourselves. (i'm sure no one suspected the kid with the gauged ears and the girl in the jack daniels sweatshirt spouting off vulgarities, laughing insanely at random, and smoking way too many cigarettes). then there was john-loo. the silly asian bus driver who couldn't speak english and didn't know what state he was going to, but never wiped his ridiculously large grin off of his face. (a few days later, i named a motel room plant after him. so you know he was special). anyways making all those same stops made me remember that rather hilarious day in 06.
i go back to work tomorrow night. thats ok i guess. i have like, no hours for some reason. but whatever. after this week i better be back to 6 days a week. because i'm turning 21 very soon. and we all know what that is going to mean for my bank account.... :-D
man, i am fucking tired. i don't even think this entire blog of my rambling even had a point anywhere. i just felt like writing one.
i can't wait to get a phone charger tomorrow. i feel naked without it. even though i really don't use the phone for anything but my excessive text messaging habits. i just remembered that i get paid tomorrow, too. that is always fun at the end of the month when the entire thing goes straight to rent and bills. yay! :-)
there is a fucking fly buzzing around in my room. i have never seen a fly in this house, and now there is one. in my room of all places. and its a huge one at that. this must be a bad omen. "hey heather, this is pittsburgh writing. i just wanted to welcome you back with this god damned fucking mutant fly".
it is going around in a circle over and over and barely missing my head every time. what a jerk.
i'm going to stop typing now and catch up on some much needed sleep. i will probably read this tomorrow and wonder what the hell i thought i was accomplishing by writing this blog. i hope someone finds some sort of amusement out of tonight's babbling :-)
ig_by:
haha sounds like a very interesting trip 