Washington is one of the stations where folks set up and play music, asking for tips while people wait for the train. Two men were there, both singing, one of them playing keyboard. There was a simple drum beat playing, preprogrammed and soft. They were improvising, but they worked well together. "It's a brand new day," they sang, and, "Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na na na-na-na."
I had a quarter in my pocket and I knew it; I had spent my last dollar earlier in the pop machine, and I always wait for the change. I didn't give them the quarter because it seemed too daunting, digging it from my pocket, pushing past people to reach them, dropping it in the styrofoam container attached to the keyboard. And I could see the train, and it was close. I felt better and worse and the same time as the train pulled close and they said, "Thank you folks for listening, and y'all have a safe trip."
On the train, Blind Man came through. I saw him on the red line once or twice a week, but I'd never given him any money. A man closer to him than me dug the change out of his pocket, counted it in his hand, and stepped forward to drop it in Blind Man's cup. "God bless you," Blind Man told him.
I got my quarter out and stood ready. As Blind Man passed I reached forward and dropped my quarter in his cup. Just as I dropped it Blind Man stopped to shake his cup. I don't think he heard my quarter hit because he didn't say, "God bless you." I hadn't been waiting to hear that, and I don't give out change to make myself feel good--or, I don't think I do--but I wonder if if still matters to him that I gave him a quarter if he didn't hear it drop.
The quarter might disappear if he doesn't hear it, or it might turn into wood. God might not bless me, and Blind Man might think resentfully of the people he passes who don't give.
I had a quarter in my pocket and I knew it; I had spent my last dollar earlier in the pop machine, and I always wait for the change. I didn't give them the quarter because it seemed too daunting, digging it from my pocket, pushing past people to reach them, dropping it in the styrofoam container attached to the keyboard. And I could see the train, and it was close. I felt better and worse and the same time as the train pulled close and they said, "Thank you folks for listening, and y'all have a safe trip."
On the train, Blind Man came through. I saw him on the red line once or twice a week, but I'd never given him any money. A man closer to him than me dug the change out of his pocket, counted it in his hand, and stepped forward to drop it in Blind Man's cup. "God bless you," Blind Man told him.
I got my quarter out and stood ready. As Blind Man passed I reached forward and dropped my quarter in his cup. Just as I dropped it Blind Man stopped to shake his cup. I don't think he heard my quarter hit because he didn't say, "God bless you." I hadn't been waiting to hear that, and I don't give out change to make myself feel good--or, I don't think I do--but I wonder if if still matters to him that I gave him a quarter if he didn't hear it drop.
The quarter might disappear if he doesn't hear it, or it might turn into wood. God might not bless me, and Blind Man might think resentfully of the people he passes who don't give.
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I once was in Mcdonalds, at the time broke out of my mind, so I went for this "2 for !" special on those god awful bistcuit snadwiches. Tasted like greasy wet open ass.
So I only ate, one, and since it was slowly burning thought the lining of my stomach, I took the othe rone for lunch. As I got outside, I saw a dude talking to everyone who passed. He asked for money to ge tosmething to eat. I said, fuck it, I need to lose weight anyways, and handed him the sandwich assuring him that it was sanitary ( it was Mcdonalds though so we were both fucked) and he said thanks.
I wlaked away and 5 steps away, he yelled at me, loud
"What, no egg?"
I flipped out. I otld him that's what they had for breakfast as a special and all I could give. We went into a rant about each tohers stiuation and i htink after our argument/conversation ( that people seemed ot stop and listen to) we came away a bit wiser of the other situation.
I barely giv emoney to anyone anymor,e but I have offered food, water, and work to people in homeless situation and have been insulted and even swung at for my efforts. I still do it, fuck it, but it's a fucker.
So what the hell am I saying? Oh yeah. I do it, for the sake of a reaction and a sotyr to tell. Your still dealing wiht humans.
Im not sure how much salvation runs nowadays, but I figure it's more than a quarter.