A REVIEW OF LOW-END ALCoHOLISM (volume 1: gas station wine)
1st up : "THUNDERBIRD""unusual flavor" refers to the added sugar, artificial colorings, and Union workers urine.
odd. for a homeless man, the man seems to maintain a relatively pleasent hobo-den.
ok, so that first one was a little outdated (hell, the man was an black-and-white, after alls)
let's get with it a little more,
getting hip, all the way up to the 1970s
note to da fellaz: if yo' girl needs you to explain what a "shake-em-up" be, den yo' tramps a know-nothin skeeze! leave da' bitch! leave her skolly-wop ass at the Disco, and keep on truckin'!
No. 2: "Night Train"
See! Even the Prince of England enjoys the smooth taste of chemicals, while eating fancy petifores in his Wood Paneled Castle.
NUMBER THREE!:
The Rottweiler! MAD DOG 20/20
this old stallwart is a 15 yr olds best friend.
mainly because of it's Rainbow of Colors (aka "Flavors")
and the design of the bottle is easy to stuff down your pants, without alerting the Arab/Korean/Greek dude behing the counter of a sudden bulge in your pants. (and they WILL check out your crotch on the way out...not because they suspect you of shoplifting either. IT'S JUST WHAT THEY DO!)
if you've never been "bitten by the dawg" as the 56yr old drop out behind the Star Theater by my house would say, it may be because you always sucked as a teenager. then grew up to suck as an adult, and (spoiler alert) you're gonna die sucking anyways.
Fantastic 4:
Cisco!
the Bright Orange price tags let everyone know "i'm a person of high standards".
delicious, like if you plucked the plumpest of strawberrys from the richest Italian farmland, then sprayed it with 99 cent hairspray, and wiped a stray dog's asshole with it..you might just have a taste of the magic that is "Cisco".
Bad, Bad, Leroy 5:
Richards Wild Irish Rose
this shit is for Refined Gentlemen ONLY!!!
also, it's the only thing black people and Ireland have in common.
it's questionable going down, and even more mysterious when you wake up to find someone has shit your bed, and you didn't even invite company over last night.
with a high "Ackahol" content, it's guarenteed to put even the most seasoned of athletes flat on dey ass!
next time, i will be reviewing Malt Liquor. Expect write-ups from such garbage cans such as, Steel Reserve, Hurricane, King Cobra, and others.
Good Day, and may all your vomit be cheap, and smell of Lilac.
1st up : "THUNDERBIRD""unusual flavor" refers to the added sugar, artificial colorings, and Union workers urine.
odd. for a homeless man, the man seems to maintain a relatively pleasent hobo-den.
ok, so that first one was a little outdated (hell, the man was an black-and-white, after alls)
let's get with it a little more,
getting hip, all the way up to the 1970s
note to da fellaz: if yo' girl needs you to explain what a "shake-em-up" be, den yo' tramps a know-nothin skeeze! leave da' bitch! leave her skolly-wop ass at the Disco, and keep on truckin'!
No. 2: "Night Train"
See! Even the Prince of England enjoys the smooth taste of chemicals, while eating fancy petifores in his Wood Paneled Castle.
NUMBER THREE!:
The Rottweiler! MAD DOG 20/20
this old stallwart is a 15 yr olds best friend.
mainly because of it's Rainbow of Colors (aka "Flavors")
and the design of the bottle is easy to stuff down your pants, without alerting the Arab/Korean/Greek dude behing the counter of a sudden bulge in your pants. (and they WILL check out your crotch on the way out...not because they suspect you of shoplifting either. IT'S JUST WHAT THEY DO!)
if you've never been "bitten by the dawg" as the 56yr old drop out behind the Star Theater by my house would say, it may be because you always sucked as a teenager. then grew up to suck as an adult, and (spoiler alert) you're gonna die sucking anyways.
Fantastic 4:
Cisco!
the Bright Orange price tags let everyone know "i'm a person of high standards".
delicious, like if you plucked the plumpest of strawberrys from the richest Italian farmland, then sprayed it with 99 cent hairspray, and wiped a stray dog's asshole with it..you might just have a taste of the magic that is "Cisco".
Bad, Bad, Leroy 5:
Richards Wild Irish Rose
this shit is for Refined Gentlemen ONLY!!!
also, it's the only thing black people and Ireland have in common.
it's questionable going down, and even more mysterious when you wake up to find someone has shit your bed, and you didn't even invite company over last night.
with a high "Ackahol" content, it's guarenteed to put even the most seasoned of athletes flat on dey ass!
next time, i will be reviewing Malt Liquor. Expect write-ups from such garbage cans such as, Steel Reserve, Hurricane, King Cobra, and others.
Good Day, and may all your vomit be cheap, and smell of Lilac.
candyeville1:
awesome....