Cassie is here. The original love of my life. She is my best friend. She flew in for a week from Japan because she misses the states every once in awhile. Today I got to take her to surprise her mom and her family. As much as I love her and her family it always makes me sad to be around them. There is no need to get into all the specifics but let's just say my mother and I have never been close. It's only been in the last year that we have been talking regularly and that is just due to the circumstances of my Uncle's death. Cassie and her family just make me want to have a family like that. They are close and loving and wonderful. And they always make me feel welcome and loved, so that is nice. However, today all I felt was anxious and worried because River's sister lives in the house behind them so I was freaked out.
There are so many moments when I miss him. And then there are so many moments when I know that this is better than anything. I had my saju read by a friend at school and she is scarily accurate. She has confirmed my belief that this is what is supposed to happen and she has confirmed the way I feel about things right now. I will get details when I see her but based on everything the person I started my year with last year would end in October... scarily accurate I tell you. And any relationships that I pursue right now will not last long term. According to the calculations, in 2014 I will find a long term relationship. And that's okay for me. I want to get through school, start my practice, figure out who I am and be independent. All of what she told me makes me feel very good. I don't see it as being alone, I see it as being able to surround myself with different energies and experience life!
Had a talk with my boss yesterday, after 3 years she has decided that tattoos and piercings are no longer acceptable in the work place. That I may scare away the "young Hoboken family" that she is trying to attract to the office. Which is funny because every patient we have in the office loves me and I have never had a problem with anyone. And they all seem to be accepting of my appearance. It's not like I'm crazy and covered. And my chest piece is usually covered anyways because it is cold and sweaters cover the chest. I really do not want to take out my lip rings. I do not want to put retainers in for the hours that I work and then use studs all the other times. I like my rings. And I'm not going to take them in and out constantly. I'm annoyed. Very annoyed. She is also amazingly condescending and makes me feel like shit about going to school. And I won't get my significant raise until we make a certain amount of money 3 months in a row. There are just so many pros and cons to all of this.
I have been thinking a lot about love and my past relationships and various other things. Maybe I'll talk about that another day. It's rainy and miserable out. I want to cuddle. Sometimes on nights like this I really miss having someone to cuddle. The dogs do wonders but they just aren't the same.
I need to get motivated. As soon as my period is gone and it takes the pain with it, I shall start being a bit more active. This weather sucks. I cannot wait until it gets warmer and I can start taking Max out for long walks. I need to buy new sneakers. Since he ate mine. Bastard dog.
Anyways... have some photos.
vegan cupcakes rule my world
There are so many moments when I miss him. And then there are so many moments when I know that this is better than anything. I had my saju read by a friend at school and she is scarily accurate. She has confirmed my belief that this is what is supposed to happen and she has confirmed the way I feel about things right now. I will get details when I see her but based on everything the person I started my year with last year would end in October... scarily accurate I tell you. And any relationships that I pursue right now will not last long term. According to the calculations, in 2014 I will find a long term relationship. And that's okay for me. I want to get through school, start my practice, figure out who I am and be independent. All of what she told me makes me feel very good. I don't see it as being alone, I see it as being able to surround myself with different energies and experience life!
Had a talk with my boss yesterday, after 3 years she has decided that tattoos and piercings are no longer acceptable in the work place. That I may scare away the "young Hoboken family" that she is trying to attract to the office. Which is funny because every patient we have in the office loves me and I have never had a problem with anyone. And they all seem to be accepting of my appearance. It's not like I'm crazy and covered. And my chest piece is usually covered anyways because it is cold and sweaters cover the chest. I really do not want to take out my lip rings. I do not want to put retainers in for the hours that I work and then use studs all the other times. I like my rings. And I'm not going to take them in and out constantly. I'm annoyed. Very annoyed. She is also amazingly condescending and makes me feel like shit about going to school. And I won't get my significant raise until we make a certain amount of money 3 months in a row. There are just so many pros and cons to all of this.
I have been thinking a lot about love and my past relationships and various other things. Maybe I'll talk about that another day. It's rainy and miserable out. I want to cuddle. Sometimes on nights like this I really miss having someone to cuddle. The dogs do wonders but they just aren't the same.
I need to get motivated. As soon as my period is gone and it takes the pain with it, I shall start being a bit more active. This weather sucks. I cannot wait until it gets warmer and I can start taking Max out for long walks. I need to buy new sneakers. Since he ate mine. Bastard dog.
Anyways... have some photos.
vegan cupcakes rule my world
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let go of everything, and let what you need find you