rexall

So I think I'm just going to cut that out of my life. Deleted phone numbers and facebook accounts. So I will not be contacting. I don't want him to feel bad about talking to River... cus you know I wouldn't want River to be hurt or anything if he found out. Please note the sarcasm in that.

Yesterday, I had an emergency gyno visit, cus he got guilt and I got an infection. At least mine is cured with a pill. When I got my chest piece, I did not think about the older male gyno that would lift my gown top to do a breast exam. He then did a more thorough visual exam, quite close up, of my tattoo than my boobs. Very awkward hahaha.

The questionnaire at the gyno's office also made me feel a bit like a whore. I was rather ashamed when it came to the sexual partners question. No more sex for me.

When I get the go ahead from my boss, I think I will start doing some power yoga or working out. I've lost all this weight and now it would be nice to tone up the body. I won't be getting naked any time soon for anyone again but I would like to look good naked. I would like to not offend myself when I look in the mirror.

I really miss having someone to spend my time with. Someone who I could kiss and cuddle. I really miss River, but not so much River. I miss his voice and his arms and his beautiful face, but I really just miss the companionship. I want to hold someone's hand and randomly kiss them when the mood comes over me.

I'm all fucking emo today. Fuck this.