rexall

fantastic. he feels guilty. river left me. for someone else. and i'm once again going to pay for it. it would be another story if i left river and then fucked his best friend. but no. two consenting adults had sex, i did not think about river while with him. i was in the moment, my judgment was not clouded, it was not a revenge fuck. it was an i like this person immensely and am going to follow it through wherever it happens to go. then after think about how he's one of river's best friends. but honestly that has not bothered me or played a factor in my decision to pursue it if it's meant to be. which obviously it is not. cus he talked to river and now hates himself for doing what he did. "how could i have done something like that... what was i thinking?" yeah cus that doesn't hurt. nope not at all. fuck this. i'm done. i have no control over his guilt. but once again river wins. i almost want to tell river that i like his friend and let it all be damned.