rexall

Okay. I get what you're all saying. Now let me clarify LOL. I don't want a boyfriend. I want to be single for a VERY long time. I need to take care of myself. I have to fix all the things I think need fixing with me. But what I want is for a guy, that obviously likes me, to just admit it. Instead of getting jealous if I mention someone else or something that happened... just let it be known. I'm going to enjoy being single... and yes I have found it very surprising that men have been hitting on me. I know deep down that I am pretty but I just never really feel like that. Yet another thing I have to work on. Slowly but surely I am working on it. I am in no position to love anyone or to try to love someone. But I am open to getting to know someone... I mean it's been 6 months already and I still don't feel like I know much about him. I like that he's slower than molasses and I am attracted to him and I forget that he is so young. But I really don't like mixed signals. I just don't.

And trust me I'm keeping all my options open. I just don't really want to touch anyone. I'm open to make out sessions and cuddling but the thought of being naked in front of someone new or having sex with someone new scares the fucking shit out of me. I've been with the same person for the last 7 years. That make out session last weekend was amazing and frightening and I probably sucked at it. I'm out of practice. So right now, I know where I am in my head. I know what I am capable of and what I am not capable of. I have faith in myself.

I woke up with a sore throat. I think it's a sore throat. I don't know. Today my pretty friend Peter is coming over and he is bringing the hot guy in school that I dig... and that apparently digs me cus he follows me around and he is the one that sent me hot peen last week. Should be an interesting afternoon. They are going to sage my house and get River's energy the fuck out!

xoxox