I think I've got it... and tell me if I'm crazy.
I think I know why I've been sort of blocking myself from losing the rest of what I want to lose.
I'm afraid. It's weird. I'm afraid I'll change.
I've seen quite a few people that I thought of as very nice people who were heavier and then they lost a ton of weight. They changed... became conceited... meaner people. Going out and being little socialites and dating women/men like they were just objects to be used for their next conquest.
I say I don't want to be like that. But how do I know I wouldn't.
I already know what it's like to get more attention and I'm not even down to what I want to be at.
It's intoxicating.
I don't want to be like that... and it scares me because I know it could be a possibility.
So I don't know what to do. I think it's one of the major mental roadblocks in my mind keeping just enough weight on me. I want to fight past it and stay true to myself. I really want to stay me on the inside. I like me.
I think I know why I've been sort of blocking myself from losing the rest of what I want to lose.
I'm afraid. It's weird. I'm afraid I'll change.
I've seen quite a few people that I thought of as very nice people who were heavier and then they lost a ton of weight. They changed... became conceited... meaner people. Going out and being little socialites and dating women/men like they were just objects to be used for their next conquest.
I say I don't want to be like that. But how do I know I wouldn't.
I already know what it's like to get more attention and I'm not even down to what I want to be at.
It's intoxicating.
I don't want to be like that... and it scares me because I know it could be a possibility.
So I don't know what to do. I think it's one of the major mental roadblocks in my mind keeping just enough weight on me. I want to fight past it and stay true to myself. I really want to stay me on the inside. I like me.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
brisuscheez:
Thanks for your comment on my blog! UGH! Losing weight is hard, I like cookies too much. Hang in there! 
sallydollie:
thansk for the hug i needed it, as for the weight, if you lose it, good for you, getting healthier is great. and people only change as much as they want to. the people you have seen drop this weight then act a certain way, in reality they probably had the signs of always acting that way, they just never fully exhibited them until they felt like no one could judge them because they were skinny. and if people did judge them, well they were skinny now, who cares. ive had friends like that before. and it sucks when you see people you know and love turn into people they were not before. good luck there sweetheart