I've been meaning, for some time, to post some observations and annectdotes about the state of things down here, but ultimately, I just don't feel like adding more grist to the mill. Come down for a visit; I'll show you the waterlines.
Instead, I will tell a story about the state of my pantry, as it is much more self contained, and does not at any point contain the phrase "They lost everything".
I suppose I should start with why I moved the shelves, but that's really not important. What is important however is that when I did, the rasins and the box of hippie Mac and Cheese they were sitting on did not move with them.
They just sort of hung there, pretty as you please, clearly not needing a shelf to support them at all. Neither raisins, nor Mac 'n Cheese, are, in my experience, endowed with the powers of levitation so upon further investigation it was discovered that they were, in fact, adhered to the wall with a very large spray of black goo that I can only assume was, at some point, raisins. Granted, it was both hot, and humid in the pantry for many weeks, but I was unaware that raisins, even under extreme conditions, exploded. I was under the distinct impression, in fact, that the whole point of raisins was that there was precious little to go wrong with them. You know, grapes, minus water equals gummy snack food to get you through the long post harvest nights. Apparently, I was wrong. Apparently, they do explode, volcanically, and leave in their wake, odorless, black superglue.
Scratch that one off your Hurricane Survival Kit shopping list, boys and girls.
Instead, I will tell a story about the state of my pantry, as it is much more self contained, and does not at any point contain the phrase "They lost everything".
I suppose I should start with why I moved the shelves, but that's really not important. What is important however is that when I did, the rasins and the box of hippie Mac and Cheese they were sitting on did not move with them.
They just sort of hung there, pretty as you please, clearly not needing a shelf to support them at all. Neither raisins, nor Mac 'n Cheese, are, in my experience, endowed with the powers of levitation so upon further investigation it was discovered that they were, in fact, adhered to the wall with a very large spray of black goo that I can only assume was, at some point, raisins. Granted, it was both hot, and humid in the pantry for many weeks, but I was unaware that raisins, even under extreme conditions, exploded. I was under the distinct impression, in fact, that the whole point of raisins was that there was precious little to go wrong with them. You know, grapes, minus water equals gummy snack food to get you through the long post harvest nights. Apparently, I was wrong. Apparently, they do explode, volcanically, and leave in their wake, odorless, black superglue.
Scratch that one off your Hurricane Survival Kit shopping list, boys and girls.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
jj_r0x0rz:
wow thats fucking hilarious... now i want to see raisins explode
obd:
you've dicovered a new organic super polymer.