reo

I don't even have the words to express how i'm feeling today. A few weeks ago, I could of said that I was lucky not to have ever lost a friend or family member. Then one of my old friend died.

This morning I got the news that my ex (thankfully not my kiddos' dad) had passed. I still don't know what happenned. He was in Costa Rica. An accident, agression, suicide... Don't know. I really loved this guy. He was a good person, but with commitment issues. It ended because I wanted more and he couldn't give it to me. He actually is one of the reasons why I went ahead with the whole single-mom-baby project. Made me realise that maybe I was never gonna find anyone to love me enough to want to embarck on the family path with me.

Anyway... I am freakin out. I probably shouldn't, it's been more than a year, but we still chatted from time to time. I am gonna miss him. He was so close to his family, his parents and his sister, I can just imagine how devastated they're gonna be. This is so unfair.