The Week So Far, and The Notorious Black Widow Pigeon.
Been a cool week so far. And now it's almost over.
I'm rambling because I want to let my mouse charge up for another minute or so. I hope that you don't mind. No? Awesome. You're the greatest. In that case, here is my full 27 page report on the history and migratory patterns of the 'Black Widow Pigeon', a rare and deadly bird whose chilling cry and muffled flapping is often the last thing that a weary urban traveller will hear before meeting their bleak demise. Or, should I say, beak demise.
THE BLACK WIDOW PIGEON
Page 1.
In the farthest corners of the world, within the urban sprawl of such cities as Bankok, Anchorage, Puerto Vallarta, Prague, and Vatican City. There is a growing plague that many dismiss as simple urban legend, drunken delusion, or massive chicken attacks. The stunning truth behind these fowl actions are both fascinating and frightening.
Let us begin with the first recorded Black Widow Pigeon incident.
It was the year 1224. King Haakon IV of Norway has modernized his government (which many regard as the first introduction of the internet) and thus begins the Golden Age of the Norwegian Empire.
During a visit from Pope Innocent IV (not related, Haakon IV was from the Jersey IV's while Innocent IV was some sort of made up play name) a messenger from Queen Elizabeth was introduced to the court after requesting immediate audience. He had with him a small child named Sammy. The child had sustained several injuries while travelling and needed care.
Pope Innocent IV (tm) brought together his papal party and they discussed the many wounds and lesions on the child's arms, legs, and face. Could it have been of demonic origin? Perhaps an evil spirit? No, they decided, since they all knew that none of that sort of thing was real anyway. And besides, it had looked more like Sammy had been in a fight with a whole mess of chickens. Not demons at all.
Haakon, who was a wise ruler, suggested that perhaps The Holy See and his Cardinals could leave on a valiant quest and vanquish the evil chickens who were scourging the countryside like dumb little wobbly bandits.
And so, armed with sticks (with those nifty crystal easter eggs on top), pointy hats, long flowing capes, and matching dresses, the Pope and his men flew from the highest spire of the castle. But not before the Black Widow Pigeon who was perched there, in the rafters of the ceiling, had claimed it's first victim. Cardinal Vladimir, who was a little more round in the middle than the rest of them, and not so good on stairs, ended up the victim of the first fatal Pigeon strike in recorded history.
The families of the men who were so v...
Oh neat! The mouse is done charging!
Been a cool week so far. And now it's almost over.
I'm rambling because I want to let my mouse charge up for another minute or so. I hope that you don't mind. No? Awesome. You're the greatest. In that case, here is my full 27 page report on the history and migratory patterns of the 'Black Widow Pigeon', a rare and deadly bird whose chilling cry and muffled flapping is often the last thing that a weary urban traveller will hear before meeting their bleak demise. Or, should I say, beak demise.
THE BLACK WIDOW PIGEON
Page 1.
In the farthest corners of the world, within the urban sprawl of such cities as Bankok, Anchorage, Puerto Vallarta, Prague, and Vatican City. There is a growing plague that many dismiss as simple urban legend, drunken delusion, or massive chicken attacks. The stunning truth behind these fowl actions are both fascinating and frightening.
Let us begin with the first recorded Black Widow Pigeon incident.
It was the year 1224. King Haakon IV of Norway has modernized his government (which many regard as the first introduction of the internet) and thus begins the Golden Age of the Norwegian Empire.
During a visit from Pope Innocent IV (not related, Haakon IV was from the Jersey IV's while Innocent IV was some sort of made up play name) a messenger from Queen Elizabeth was introduced to the court after requesting immediate audience. He had with him a small child named Sammy. The child had sustained several injuries while travelling and needed care.
Pope Innocent IV (tm) brought together his papal party and they discussed the many wounds and lesions on the child's arms, legs, and face. Could it have been of demonic origin? Perhaps an evil spirit? No, they decided, since they all knew that none of that sort of thing was real anyway. And besides, it had looked more like Sammy had been in a fight with a whole mess of chickens. Not demons at all.
Haakon, who was a wise ruler, suggested that perhaps The Holy See and his Cardinals could leave on a valiant quest and vanquish the evil chickens who were scourging the countryside like dumb little wobbly bandits.
And so, armed with sticks (with those nifty crystal easter eggs on top), pointy hats, long flowing capes, and matching dresses, the Pope and his men flew from the highest spire of the castle. But not before the Black Widow Pigeon who was perched there, in the rafters of the ceiling, had claimed it's first victim. Cardinal Vladimir, who was a little more round in the middle than the rest of them, and not so good on stairs, ended up the victim of the first fatal Pigeon strike in recorded history.
The families of the men who were so v...
Oh neat! The mouse is done charging!
renfield7:
A tiny bit of that is actually historically accurate. Believe it or not.