reneemarie

So today was cool. Woke up and didn't have to see my cunt of a mom! YAY! I went to meet Britney at the smoothie place and vented about bullshit. Then we went to go see Vacancy. It wasn't as bad as the dude at the theater made it out to be. I was actually pretty amused and entertained. We went back to her place afterwards for some burnt BBQ I liked the potato salad tho and entertained Brit while I picked the olives out of it. I hate olives.

My mom called saying Kenny called her and talked to her for a bit. I told her to call him back to ask about Callie and what he was gonna do with her when he was in jail and to tell him I have been really sad and confused as to why he's so mad at me. She just told me he's really mad at me and I'm mean. WHY!? I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY HE THINKS THAT!! He told her he wouldn't call me. Gah I hate being confused. But basically my mom said I was a mean person. No ones ever told me that before unless I fucking hate them and am purposely mean Also no ones ever told me I'm fat besides my mom I can hardly stand living with her anymore. She's been a major cunt to me since Kenny left because they got along so well. She blames me for him leaving. I'm just taking the blame to get her off my back. I'm gonna go to AA to get her off my back too. I think it's a bunch of bullshit but at least she'll get what she wants.

I kinda feel like it's her fault I drink. Like I know husbands that drink because of their cunt wives, I drink because of my cunt mom. I never drank this much before I moved here. And basically this city is a boring piece of shit, many people will say all there is to do is get drunk and fuck. I want some drinks and some fucks.

I still wanna move to Seattle. Too bad I'm poor. At least I'm going back to work next week, my grandma said she'd help pay for cosmetology school if I work part time. Then I'll have my license and hopefully get a job up in Seattle. There would be so many more job opportunities up there. Yeah I don't really know anyone but I didn't know anyone when I moved here. It took me a year to have a REAL friend and now he hates me or whatever. Britney is the only real friend I have now. I just hate this place, everyone hates this place.

On a side note, this apple pie is really good. I should have picked up some beer on the way home. If my mom thinks I'm an alcoholic I might as well be drunk all the time until I have to go to a stupid AA meeting I'm gonna do my British accent and say my name is Crumpet or something silly. And they better have fucking donuts *shakes fist*



I miss him so much.
I hope he doesn't hate me forever.