While at times I can still be a stubborn red head with too much pride, I have learnt over the last few years 'when in doubt, ask for help'.
I dont know if I am specifically asking for help, but I will be honest, SG has very quickly become quite an addictive pleasure for me. I love the honesty, even when it stings a little, and I LOVE hearing all different people's take on things. I thrive on honesty. Maybe sometimes a little too much. I have a few close friends who are blatant with me, but on here I feel free to express and vent. Living in a foreign speaking country can leave you feeling a little alone at times.
So... here is what has been obsessively running around my mind ;
I have kind of, unintentionally, managed to put myself in a less than favorable living situation. I moved to France a year and a half ago after a failed relationship and I am so ashamed to say I still dont speak the language. The worst part is I can understand so much more of the language than when I first arrived, but every time i open my mouth to talk I just cant speak it. It sounds fucking awful. I butcher the beautiful language.
I work as a photo editor which means clients send me their photos over the web and I edit and return them = minimal contact and all old clients from USA. No French required. But shit money.
Next - A few months ago my Grandmother died. I lived next to her and Grandfather, she was like a second mother to me, and in a moment of pure panic for my Grandfather I decided to move in with him and keep him company.
Turns out I didn't really know what he was like and its been a hell of a learning curve. He's been in and out of hospital but most of his various illnesses are down to the fact he wont do ANYTHING but sit in a smelly old chair all night and day. So I clean up after him, feed him, medicate him and listen to him rant about all sorts of things. I stay away a few nights a week when I am working but he can be a little cruel and manipulative at times. I feel so bad saying this but I am going to need to move out soon before I go insane, or kill him. Im selfish, I know
I have other family here and we all look after him, I just took it to a whole co-dependent level.
When I left Los Angeles i walked away from an entire life I had built over 10 years. I didn't know I wouldn't be returning the day I got on the plane. If I had I would have packed more clothes and my fav books, photos etc!! Anyway, I lost it all so I have had to rebuild myself (not a bad thing!). By the time I pay my bills etc I have very little left to save and lately i have realized it is very important to get a real job here, earning real money and finally learn the language and move forward.
So I feel a little lost. I need to learn French, school is expensive but would be an investment. I need to earn more so I can start living again, but feel bad leaving grandfather. And I earn shit money now so I dont quite know how to start?
Reading this probably reads like a whiny lil' bitch and the answers are probably black and white. But from the inside I cant see which way to go. My work dries up in 3 weeks until the new year. Should I spend money now on school or save it until I pick back up with work in new year? (I have been talking about school for months now) ??????
I think I need a slap and kick up the ass.
If anyone made it to the end of this boring entry, Im sorry, and thank you
So Slap and kick away.
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I dont know if I am specifically asking for help, but I will be honest, SG has very quickly become quite an addictive pleasure for me. I love the honesty, even when it stings a little, and I LOVE hearing all different people's take on things. I thrive on honesty. Maybe sometimes a little too much. I have a few close friends who are blatant with me, but on here I feel free to express and vent. Living in a foreign speaking country can leave you feeling a little alone at times.
So... here is what has been obsessively running around my mind ;
I have kind of, unintentionally, managed to put myself in a less than favorable living situation. I moved to France a year and a half ago after a failed relationship and I am so ashamed to say I still dont speak the language. The worst part is I can understand so much more of the language than when I first arrived, but every time i open my mouth to talk I just cant speak it. It sounds fucking awful. I butcher the beautiful language.
I work as a photo editor which means clients send me their photos over the web and I edit and return them = minimal contact and all old clients from USA. No French required. But shit money.
Next - A few months ago my Grandmother died. I lived next to her and Grandfather, she was like a second mother to me, and in a moment of pure panic for my Grandfather I decided to move in with him and keep him company.
Turns out I didn't really know what he was like and its been a hell of a learning curve. He's been in and out of hospital but most of his various illnesses are down to the fact he wont do ANYTHING but sit in a smelly old chair all night and day. So I clean up after him, feed him, medicate him and listen to him rant about all sorts of things. I stay away a few nights a week when I am working but he can be a little cruel and manipulative at times. I feel so bad saying this but I am going to need to move out soon before I go insane, or kill him. Im selfish, I know

When I left Los Angeles i walked away from an entire life I had built over 10 years. I didn't know I wouldn't be returning the day I got on the plane. If I had I would have packed more clothes and my fav books, photos etc!! Anyway, I lost it all so I have had to rebuild myself (not a bad thing!). By the time I pay my bills etc I have very little left to save and lately i have realized it is very important to get a real job here, earning real money and finally learn the language and move forward.
So I feel a little lost. I need to learn French, school is expensive but would be an investment. I need to earn more so I can start living again, but feel bad leaving grandfather. And I earn shit money now so I dont quite know how to start?
Reading this probably reads like a whiny lil' bitch and the answers are probably black and white. But from the inside I cant see which way to go. My work dries up in 3 weeks until the new year. Should I spend money now on school or save it until I pick back up with work in new year? (I have been talking about school for months now) ??????
I think I need a slap and kick up the ass.
If anyone made it to the end of this boring entry, Im sorry, and thank you

So Slap and kick away.
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Sending you a friend request....one Geezer Hopeful to another
Put off school until you've built up some capital; in the mean time get Rosetta Stone (which is an awesome program) and learn the basics. After the new year, go to school and you'll do really well because you'll already have a basic understanding. Hell you might already know enough by that time to bypass the bottom end class.
BTW...I'm totally jealous of you...you have the guts to pack up and leave everything behind to start again. I wish I did!