I wrote this for my father several years ago (in the pre-Facebook age)... and I think it's worth repeating today.
He's Dad to me and my siblings, he's Uncle Bill to my cousins, and he's Grandpa D. to my children. And against the theme of so many of my recent posts, I'm blessed and honored to refer to him in the here and now.
On Father's Day, I like to reflect on the many diverse experiences my dad has had in life, most if not all of which have had a direct influence on me.
Sure, there's the easy stuff. Did Dad raise me as a "monster kid?" Not specifically, no. But my earliest movie memory remains watching THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN with him and being fascinated by the "giant spider" scene. "Creature Features" (usually the Universal classics) were a staple of my weekends--thanks to him, as well. And yes, he was the one who recognized how important it was for me to see HALLOWEEN on the big screen--it took him to get me past the "R" rating, after all... it was one of the most terrifying evenings I ever spent and I'll never regret it (nor will he ever forget the way I left my candy completely untouched as I tried to muffle the constant screaming of the audience).
But my burning obsession with all things 'horror' was my own doing--I took it to a level he never approached. What HE gave me goes well beyond that.
Korean War veteran: I learned all about what it really means to serve in the armed forces from Dad (yeah, I was a reservist in an Indiana hospital and never did much of anything, let alone see any action, but I like to think I would have done what was expected of me had it come to that). His stories were far more authentic than anything I had seen in the movies--and he never failed to point out that it might as well have been him on the helicopter gurney in the opening credits of M*A*S*H every week. (That's another one of our favorite memories--we loved the show, but between his military knowledge and my mother's medical background, the two of them could torpedo the accuracy of just about any given episode!) And as acting president of our local chapter of Veterans For Peace? Let's just say that he is more than qualified to demonstrate that anyone who thinks that a difference of opinion regarding the use of our armed forces equals automatic disrespect for the troops themselves has a lot to learn.
Private Detective: Yep, that, too. Want to know what a REAL private eye does? Dad shared his background and teaching tools with me in that department, as well. And he'll never forget the student who asked him "You mean you're a real private eye? Like Rockford?"
Theatre: Dad was involved both onstage and backstage in many well-received productions--particularly at San Francisco State University, where he studied under Julius Irving (yep, Amy's dad--and my father even held baby Amy at one point) and where he encouraged me to study (though I chose film over theatre). I was constantly inspired to stage "shows" in the backyard and always looked forward to getting involved with school theatre (well, except for ninth grade, where our junior high 'drama club' offered nothing but low-grade pap--hey, we'd done OUR TOWN in eighth grade, for heck's sake). As a result, I've never had a problem with public speaking, and the background has served me well. Dad also introduced me to Shakespeare at a very young age--I loved reading along with the stage recordings he had in his collection, and I even flummoxed one of his university colleagues by correcting him on the status of "Troilus and Cressida" as the one Shakespearean tragedy in which the title characters didn't die (oh, did I mention that I was only in third grade?).
Speech pathologist: I think I must have known as much of the anatomy and physiology of human speech as did most experts--Dad had the books and the teaching tools and was always happy to demonstrate them. He also supplied us with invaluable advice regarding what appeared to be a stuttering problem on the part of our daughter Rebecca... sure enough, the problem wasn't a problem at all, even though it COULD have become just that.
General Semantics: I think this area of my father's expertise affected me more than any other--nor is it easily summarized. I can tell you for a start, however, that it instilled quite a discipline in me--a discipline in which I strive to take full account of each and every word I say or write. And I will happily share Lesson Number One with you.
Find yourself a pencil. Go ahead--I'll wait. Get it. Got it? Good!
Now... can you tell me EVERYTHING about this pencil?
Ponder that. And next time? Consider how far more clearly and definitively your conversations would come across if you were to make a conscious effort to eliminate the verb "to be" from your speech and writing. It could be as simple as substituting "I really liked this movie" for "This IS a great movie." Or it could broaden your horizons beyond the potential you perceive.
I've never claimed to have mastered this discipline (the language known as E-Prime) in my own writing, but if you look back, I think you'll find that I've always tried to apply it.
And language itself! The art of etymology--the origins of the words we used and the languages from which they were derived? So much more discovery awaits! It was Dad who taught me that Cinderella didn't really have a glass slipper, that Joseph never really had a 'coat of many colors' and that when Jesus alluded to the "camel" going through the eye of the needle he was almost certainly using a word which referred to a "thick rope" as opposed to a humped mammal (this makes sense without changing the significance of the verse one bit, no?).
Writer: Dad has published (privately and otherwise) many, many insightful articles on his war experience, on general semantics, on speech pathology, clinical hypnosis, etc. (By the way, 'Et Cetera' is the journal of general semantics in which he's been prominently featured.) And in my schooldays, I could never get enough of his master's thesis "Present Fears and Horrible Imaginings: An Analysis of Horror in Drama." Far more recently, he's combined virtually all of his life experiences and learnings in a pair of self-reflexive "Christopher Raven" detective thrillers.
http://www.amazon.com/Kill-Not-Christopher-Raven-Novellas/dp/1553690885
Believe me, I could say a lot more--but we'd be talking about over forty years of personal experience. It will suffice to say that, thanks to my father's inspiration, the things that I experience will always take a back seat to the way I look at them, the way I express them, and the way I share them. I can only hope to instill a similar outlook in my own children.
For now, with all love and respect, Happy Father's Day, Dad.
Shane
