God bless SG for being the forum where I can post questions like this...
Question for both the guys and the ladies: I'm in a situation where my boyfriend seems to want to masturbate to porn more than he wants to have sex with me. Now, clearly, I'm not a porn hater myself, and to some extent whatever makes him happy is fine with me. If he suggested that I rid myself of my erotica library, I would not respond kindly.
On the other hand, I'm horny as hell and not getting any. I consider myself to be a pretty good-lookin' gal, and I haven't had any major changes lately that would have brought this on -- no major weight gain or loss, no shaving my head, no sudden onset of halitosis. I know he has some issues around sex that are deep and complicated, and I'm trying hard to be respectful of that. That said, people have always thought of me as being "smart," "cute," "creative," "hard-working," way before "sexy," and it's a bit of a sore spot for me too. I'm a super-smart sassy tomboy. But some days, honestly, I'd rather be sexy. I really like having (a lot!) of sex. Preferably with my boyfriend, rather than my vibrator!
It's also a sore spot because both of my ex-fiancees and I fell into a similar situation, and I'm now starting to get that, "No, it's not them, it's YOU" feeling creeping up the back of my mind.
Thoughts? Comments? Been there before, on either side? Suggestions? Yes, I can work harder at being sexier, and I'm trying. A skirt and heels wouldn't kill me once in a while, I know. Other suggestions?
Question for both the guys and the ladies: I'm in a situation where my boyfriend seems to want to masturbate to porn more than he wants to have sex with me. Now, clearly, I'm not a porn hater myself, and to some extent whatever makes him happy is fine with me. If he suggested that I rid myself of my erotica library, I would not respond kindly.
On the other hand, I'm horny as hell and not getting any. I consider myself to be a pretty good-lookin' gal, and I haven't had any major changes lately that would have brought this on -- no major weight gain or loss, no shaving my head, no sudden onset of halitosis. I know he has some issues around sex that are deep and complicated, and I'm trying hard to be respectful of that. That said, people have always thought of me as being "smart," "cute," "creative," "hard-working," way before "sexy," and it's a bit of a sore spot for me too. I'm a super-smart sassy tomboy. But some days, honestly, I'd rather be sexy. I really like having (a lot!) of sex. Preferably with my boyfriend, rather than my vibrator!
It's also a sore spot because both of my ex-fiancees and I fell into a similar situation, and I'm now starting to get that, "No, it's not them, it's YOU" feeling creeping up the back of my mind.
Thoughts? Comments? Been there before, on either side? Suggestions? Yes, I can work harder at being sexier, and I'm trying. A skirt and heels wouldn't kill me once in a while, I know. Other suggestions?
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It's certainly something to talk out with him, though, find out if he even knows the reasons himself why he wants/needs this. Don't let it drag on... if it's something going on in his head or life, it's probably not going to be something he'll change til he knows you're not happy.