reina_confundida

Is it possible to have a relationship that doesn't die a little at a time, ounce by ounce, moment by moment?

(Why, yes, Jen, it is. You can kill it in a gloriously blaze of momentary chaos and anger instead of the slow and steady method. Maybe you should go for the glory this time.)

I adore this man. I have ever since I first met him, which is why I let him back into my life despite all of the many, many wrongs he committed against me a year ago. But I push, push, push away, in tiny bits, guard against my heart being broken again, build walls.

Fatalconceit made an interesting comment to me last year, when everything fell apart and i was blaming men everywhere... something along the lines of, "It's not men everywhere, it's the men that you choose in particular." Touche. That comment still touches a nerve even now, paraphrased and a year past. Maybe if I picked someone with a thicker skin, better self-esteem, greater maturity, more compassion and less anger, I wouldn't worry so much... and my worries would be soothed instead of escalated.

But all of those battle scars on his soul grew the charm, wit, humor, character that I adore.

Love. Not for pussies.