so, here's an entertaining story for you. or at least, i was entertained, anyway.
a year or so ago, when my unsatisfied libido had gotten the best of me, i posted a profile on a hook-up site. which was a totally fascinating experience in and of itself - but i digress.
a few of the men that i had corresponded with were decent human beings, and we've kept in contact, despite the fact that some of them i've still never managed to meet in real life. a text here, an email there, that sort of thing.
i got a text the other night from one of the guys. he travels a lot for work, so we've never managed to get together. but he drops me a line every once in a while, usually when he's drunk, so I wasn't too surprised. i also wasn't surprised when it turned into text sex pretty rapidly. now, my libido has seriously taken a vacation and gone somewhere far away, and the idea of dating makes me slightly nauseous, so i wasn't really in the mood. but, i had nothing better to do, so i played along. "oh baby, yeah, i'd love to tie you down and ride that beautiful cock of yours all night long. and then leave you tied down for a bit to tease you, before i let you come."
but see, he didn't like what i had to say. apparently my half-hearted attempt at a fantasy wasn't his cup of tea. "what else you got?" picky, are we? christ.
"well, why don't you tell me what you like?"
now, here's the shocker.
"i like when a woman intimately licks and sucks my cock."
oh, do you now!? color me surprised. really? i've certainly never heard that before. a guy who likes to get blown. what will the world come up with next?
boys, listen to me for a moment: IF YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY THE GAME, PLAY IT WELL. i don't waste my time and imagination texting with someone who can't imagine sex beyond having his dick sucked. do i like going down? of course i do. to a point. but i wanna know what's in it for me. anyone who can't imagine that far via text will not be able to imagine very far in real life.
i rolled my eyes so hard i gave myself a headache. "gee, sorry. deep throating isn't my finest talent. welp, gotta get up early tomorrow. have a nice night!"
at the rate that i'm gathering disgust for the male race, i'll be a lesbian very, very soon....
(present company excluded. i love you boys! most of you, anyway. mwah!)
a year or so ago, when my unsatisfied libido had gotten the best of me, i posted a profile on a hook-up site. which was a totally fascinating experience in and of itself - but i digress.
a few of the men that i had corresponded with were decent human beings, and we've kept in contact, despite the fact that some of them i've still never managed to meet in real life. a text here, an email there, that sort of thing.
i got a text the other night from one of the guys. he travels a lot for work, so we've never managed to get together. but he drops me a line every once in a while, usually when he's drunk, so I wasn't too surprised. i also wasn't surprised when it turned into text sex pretty rapidly. now, my libido has seriously taken a vacation and gone somewhere far away, and the idea of dating makes me slightly nauseous, so i wasn't really in the mood. but, i had nothing better to do, so i played along. "oh baby, yeah, i'd love to tie you down and ride that beautiful cock of yours all night long. and then leave you tied down for a bit to tease you, before i let you come."
but see, he didn't like what i had to say. apparently my half-hearted attempt at a fantasy wasn't his cup of tea. "what else you got?" picky, are we? christ.
"well, why don't you tell me what you like?"
now, here's the shocker.
"i like when a woman intimately licks and sucks my cock."
oh, do you now!? color me surprised. really? i've certainly never heard that before. a guy who likes to get blown. what will the world come up with next?
boys, listen to me for a moment: IF YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY THE GAME, PLAY IT WELL. i don't waste my time and imagination texting with someone who can't imagine sex beyond having his dick sucked. do i like going down? of course i do. to a point. but i wanna know what's in it for me. anyone who can't imagine that far via text will not be able to imagine very far in real life.
i rolled my eyes so hard i gave myself a headache. "gee, sorry. deep throating isn't my finest talent. welp, gotta get up early tomorrow. have a nice night!"
at the rate that i'm gathering disgust for the male race, i'll be a lesbian very, very soon....
(present company excluded. i love you boys! most of you, anyway. mwah!)
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work that pays the bills takes priority over coffee and/or tea.
where are you heading off to?