the thing that mom never told you about dating the wrong boys over and over and over and over again is that they train you. you start to believe that everyone is like that, and treat everyone with the same suspicions, distrust and skepticism. their damage isn't the yelling, the screaming, the crying, the sting of anger and hurt and humiliation in the moment -- their damage, is, instead, stealing the gifts that you gave so willingly, but had such a small supply of which to give.
trust. respect. honesty.
i have to stop treating damion like i would treat owen or alan. i will destroy this relationship so painfully quickly if i can't treat him with the respect and trust that he deserves. but good god, it's hard. i want to smoke and drink myself into oblivion so that i can forget most of the last 10 years of my life and move on, without the scars and the hurt and the baggage and the heartache.
time will heal these things. i just wish it flew by a little faster, some days.
trust. respect. honesty.
i have to stop treating damion like i would treat owen or alan. i will destroy this relationship so painfully quickly if i can't treat him with the respect and trust that he deserves. but good god, it's hard. i want to smoke and drink myself into oblivion so that i can forget most of the last 10 years of my life and move on, without the scars and the hurt and the baggage and the heartache.
time will heal these things. i just wish it flew by a little faster, some days.