I am unable to take myself any more. I am in deep denial and an even deeper depression. All signs are pointing to a failure in my mind, yet I can't bring myself to change. I really need help. If not I may get stuck like this... And that's unacceptable.
I'm in quicksand. My mind has the power to save itself, but it'd rather watch...
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It is the only way to numb the pain I've kept.
It helps it wash away.
Does anyone listen to music while falling asleep, JUST so you don't stay awake thinking about regrets?
Not just recent regrets either, but somehow your mind wanders to deeper darker places. Remembering things way long forgotten.
Well, it happens to me too often. The music helps me sleep. Not tonight though. Not now.
Well today was day3 of my diet and I did terrible! Undid all my work the first two days... So unhappy with myself.
It was D&D night and we only do it once a month but damn I did awful. Probably doubled my calorie intake.
Oh well, maybe being fat isn't all that bad...
Nothing interesting to post just completely bored and tired. Contemplating about my life regretting. Things of that nature.
I started my diet yesterday. I'm almost successfully done with Day 2. Started at 209lbs. Let's see where I can end up.
Just having a great time in New Orleans with some friends!