I have strong unmet emotional standards. I want a woman who is intrinsically incapable of meeting what I consider being violated. I want an woman who will never violate me. I want a relationship with zero none emotional violations. I had a very good relationship with my grandmother. But I have have memories of my mother from childhood. I have good memories of my father and my nanny grandma but my mom feels like she was never in my life. And to this day my mother violates me whenever I talk about how we relate, and for example when I don’t understand what she says, and when she doesn’t understand me. It’s weird. I can imagine the horror and shame involved in the frailty of sex and emotional pain from the vulnerability. My honest frailty is one of the hottest things about me. Pornography teaches boys to be men and never attach emotions to sex. I hate that. I don’t even believe it’s healthy to learn fake sex from porn but I don’t know how to explain why it’s not healthy. It’s definitely not good for any man’s next girlfriend when he decides it’s time to stop trying to hook up at the club. Like imagine being a man’s 3rd girlfriend. That sounds not good to me. I have ideals. I always knew since before puberty and I had my first sex dream of my head between a woman’s legs that sex is the most emotionally gratifying and emotionally consequential behavior in the world. Without the promise of enduring gratification I don’t think I will never have sex. Because i know that’s what love it supposed to be. Never ask a man like me what love has to do with it. It’s a vulnerable little penis in the middle of his; love has everything to do with it. It’s not an accident that it’s the place that hurts the most if you hit it the wrong way. I really really believe the best options I have for a life long, sustainable and fulfilling relationship is on Suicide Girls. Me, I love to boast of my inner dragon. There are increasing thresholds of any social violation outside of romantic love that would allow increasing measure of my inner dragon to be unleashed. And my invincibility involving no shame will make me unstoppable. I will need a woman who can handle all of this. And when I say, “do you think you can handle all of this,” I want it to be uncomfortably overwhelming and a believable way! All my life I have felt like everyone is intimidated of me for no reason. I relate to women who know what it means to intimidate men for no reason. You are the type of humans that would help me always be the most confident in every situation. You know how it feels shy when other people are uncomfortable? I used to be really shy about myself just like you, many say that is why you became a model. It has been working for me too. I learn so much from the secret of being a model. I am working on being an entertainer. One day I want to own my own film company that’s worth over a million dollars. I don’t have a girlfriend because I only wanted a great woman who will be my equal while I always knew there was more to who I was as a person and the shy and deserving awkward man could not have what he is worth until I would fully be myself. Check Mate. 💥💥💥 pow, pow, pow 💥💥💥
…with all my heart and mind and for what I personally value about being human, I want a woman who is qualified for me to say just as many good things about her that are deserving to be said about me. I want a woman who I can get just as much excited about my Mamacita as I do get excited about myself.
(the answer is so complicated, there is sure to be more than this to fully come)
