the story
spott has, for a long time, told me she wants a "kitty." that is to say, she wants a kitten. she doesn't necessarily want the kitten when it has grown up. she just wants to be able to play with it, to have the little tiny claws and teeth, the little mews, the little purr. eventually, we'd like to foster kittens for the ASPCA or Save-A-Pet.
however, we've agreed that because i already have two cats, we shouldn't have any more pets that live outside a tank.
when we went into the pet store that saturday, there was this adorable little blue kitten. instead of sleeping in her litter pan like most pet store kittens, she was up playing, chasing invisible bugs up the walls of her display, and rubbing her head on the glass whenever someone walked by trying to get them to pet her. if we COULD have gotten a kitten that day, she would have been perfect. still, we walked by. 10 feet down the wall, we got to the rodent displays. all the animals looked exceptionally healthy, they were young enough to be trainable but not too young to live on their own, and spott & i started talking seriously about taking a little guy home. but what to get? a rat would require a fair-sized tank. a hamster doesn't have a tail, and so freaks spott out. gerbils are too... crazy, so i can't deal with them. we decided on a little grey mouse. then we went shopping for a tank setup. the store didn't have the 5 gal tank we wanted, so we looked at some other options, went to lunch, and then went back to ask another question. when we went back, someone was buying that kitten. it was on the counter in a cardboard carry-box, and was mewing. every time it did, spott would look all happy, scrunch up her shoulders and grin with delight, and say "kitty!"... that did it. i told her, "we are getting a mouse, today, and you have to call it kitty." and we made it happen.
kitty is happy and healthy, and hand-training very well. he even climbed right up onto my hand when i reached into the tank today. he climbed on spott & me for a few minutes, then i gave him a little bit of peanut butter.
but that's not really what i came here for today.
i think it has started again. another sudden new friend, another person i immediately got along with, another good person in need of healing... i'm in a pretty good place in my life right now, but can i handle this again? if i can, i just hope - for his sake and mine - that i don't have to end up having to break his heart. it ends that way all too often... and hurts me as much as them. the only thing i know for sure is ending like that usually makes the gradual healing apparent, and final. if it doesn't break them, it makes them better. but every one hurts me.
spott has, for a long time, told me she wants a "kitty." that is to say, she wants a kitten. she doesn't necessarily want the kitten when it has grown up. she just wants to be able to play with it, to have the little tiny claws and teeth, the little mews, the little purr. eventually, we'd like to foster kittens for the ASPCA or Save-A-Pet.
however, we've agreed that because i already have two cats, we shouldn't have any more pets that live outside a tank.
when we went into the pet store that saturday, there was this adorable little blue kitten. instead of sleeping in her litter pan like most pet store kittens, she was up playing, chasing invisible bugs up the walls of her display, and rubbing her head on the glass whenever someone walked by trying to get them to pet her. if we COULD have gotten a kitten that day, she would have been perfect. still, we walked by. 10 feet down the wall, we got to the rodent displays. all the animals looked exceptionally healthy, they were young enough to be trainable but not too young to live on their own, and spott & i started talking seriously about taking a little guy home. but what to get? a rat would require a fair-sized tank. a hamster doesn't have a tail, and so freaks spott out. gerbils are too... crazy, so i can't deal with them. we decided on a little grey mouse. then we went shopping for a tank setup. the store didn't have the 5 gal tank we wanted, so we looked at some other options, went to lunch, and then went back to ask another question. when we went back, someone was buying that kitten. it was on the counter in a cardboard carry-box, and was mewing. every time it did, spott would look all happy, scrunch up her shoulders and grin with delight, and say "kitty!"... that did it. i told her, "we are getting a mouse, today, and you have to call it kitty." and we made it happen.
kitty is happy and healthy, and hand-training very well. he even climbed right up onto my hand when i reached into the tank today. he climbed on spott & me for a few minutes, then i gave him a little bit of peanut butter.
but that's not really what i came here for today.
i think it has started again. another sudden new friend, another person i immediately got along with, another good person in need of healing... i'm in a pretty good place in my life right now, but can i handle this again? if i can, i just hope - for his sake and mine - that i don't have to end up having to break his heart. it ends that way all too often... and hurts me as much as them. the only thing i know for sure is ending like that usually makes the gradual healing apparent, and final. if it doesn't break them, it makes them better. but every one hurts me.
kingmike:
how would you end up breaking his heart, and how does it end that way all too often? I would rather have my heart broken and know there is an end than not having it broken every day by having a relationship just suddenly disappear and never getting closure.