redfirefaery

sunday morning i woke from a dream filled with warm august sunshine weather feeling desolate and forlorn. i recognized the major player in my dream as a coworker at my new job, and someone i would like to be friends with outside of work. i saw her, walking along a sidewalk framed by dark green leaves and tall golden grasses, quaint brick buildings lining the street farther up, and she was crying, mourning the loss of the more than decade she'd spent with her wife. i knew that was why she was crying, and she didn't say a word. i knew she'd had time to be lonely, to miss the woman she'd spent so much of her adult life with. and in my own consciousness, i knew it hadn't happened yet.

after i woke, i spent most of my day feeling lonely, sad for this coworker/friend.

today was the beginning of my work week. i was planning to tell her about my dream, willing and somewhat hopeful that she would tell me i was crazy and nothing had happened. instead she said to me "mary told me this weekend that she's moving out august 1st." i had to ask when mary made this announcement... sunday. and i knew.

i've never had a dream so accurate about anyone i wasn't close to as a lover, or a friend i'd known forever, or someone who was directing strong thoughts at me... it is a little unnerving.

add that to the facts that i have a natural empathy that allows me to feel people's emotions (especially when either physically close or mentally/emotionally close to them), and that as an indigo child i can't help but want to help heal what i feel, and you have one very tired, stressed girl at the end of the day.

i don't regret my abilities, but sometimes i wish i could skip days i know are going to be like today.

i am tired.

goodnight.