red09989

Today, for the first time in about 5 months, I was actually feeling good(without the aid of liquor). There was no particular reason for this, I just felt semi-content and optimistic for a little while. It was such a relief from the complete misery and horrible anxiety I've been feeling. Then, as I was dancing around the house to Duran Duran, she called. It's like...
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Uh-oh. Apparantely I logged onto chat this morning after I came in raging drunk. I just hopped on the computer and found myself still logged on. I have no recollection of any of this. Man, I hope I wasn't being stupid........ I'm going to go sit in front of the tv and eat pizza and ice-cream and nurse my hangover.

Listening to Dead Can Dance........"I am disabled by fears concerning which course to take, for now that wheels are turning, I find my faith deserting me." That about sums it up for today.

Aargh! I uploaded my pic onto here, and it's seriously distorted; looks really bad. I want to take it off, but I can't figure out how to do that. Can anyone tell me how to do that?

ok. I'm really disgustingly drunk right now. I just got home from the WORST bar i've been to in years. i thought that if i was drunk enough,i'd be able to endure it; i was wrong. it was a meat market. i fuckin hate that shit. i just wanted to dance and hear some good music. i will never try the suburban bar again. blech.

I'm suffering from terrible ennui and depression. I think that's what led me to become a member............and of course the plethora of beautiful women.

It's sooo damn cold here. I think I've become seasonal or something. Need to find something to lift my spirits.