Halloween. I attended my first ever Rocky Horror Picture Show midnight screening last night. The virgin call was fun, but honestly, the people who were there (who were clearly there quite often) reminded me strongly of the folks I used to do theater with back in high school, which is to say they were closely knit, hyper-sexual (one got the feelling of a large incestuous family) and more than a little bit creepy. Don't get me wrong, I had a good time. But I don't think I could ever be one of those people.
I finally received my Bill Hicks dvd in the mail. Good lord, he is something to behold. Watching that man perform makes me long for the days when I used to perform on stage, and reminds me of an old love for writing monologues. I'm still so apathetic and so ignorant that I feel terribly unqualified to tell anyone what I think. But perhaps I am just afraid, and should do it anyway.
The weened flew by, and I sit in the wireless lounge on campus, in drag, with 70+ pages of reading to complete (and draw a concept map about) by tomorrow morning. I don't know how our professor expected anyone to have time this weekend with all the festivities (and that's assuming they didn't work both days, as I did). Oh well. We do what we can, what we need to get by.
I feel lonely a lot of the time. I often wish I could just cry without needing to be miserable to do it. Sadness makes good poetry, and poetry brings color to my life. Earlier today I re-read, for the first time since I wrote them, many poems composed around 2000-2001, when I was living in Olympia.and was full of my own personal tragedy and was so convinced that no one could understand. The darkness and the romance. It was a foolish time, to be sure, but it still makes me nostalgic. Despite the occasionally delusional trappings of intensity I was living in, some of the work is not half bad. Interesting how most of the people who inspired it are gone from me now, yet still the words still speak to me.
I should end this entry and get to my homework, but chi doesn't seem to go that way just yet. I think how I need to start meditating again. Mark Lanegan sings. It's quiet. I'll try to enjoy it, as it never lasts.
"In here, Mr. Garibaldi, you cannot hide from yourself. Everything out there has only one purpose: to distract us from ourselves. From what is truly important. But there are no distractions in here. You can learn much from silence. " -G'kar, Babylon 5
The end of October. It begins.
Edit (Nov 1): Halloween pictures are now up. Enjoy. And vote, goddammit.
I finally received my Bill Hicks dvd in the mail. Good lord, he is something to behold. Watching that man perform makes me long for the days when I used to perform on stage, and reminds me of an old love for writing monologues. I'm still so apathetic and so ignorant that I feel terribly unqualified to tell anyone what I think. But perhaps I am just afraid, and should do it anyway.
The weened flew by, and I sit in the wireless lounge on campus, in drag, with 70+ pages of reading to complete (and draw a concept map about) by tomorrow morning. I don't know how our professor expected anyone to have time this weekend with all the festivities (and that's assuming they didn't work both days, as I did). Oh well. We do what we can, what we need to get by.
I feel lonely a lot of the time. I often wish I could just cry without needing to be miserable to do it. Sadness makes good poetry, and poetry brings color to my life. Earlier today I re-read, for the first time since I wrote them, many poems composed around 2000-2001, when I was living in Olympia.and was full of my own personal tragedy and was so convinced that no one could understand. The darkness and the romance. It was a foolish time, to be sure, but it still makes me nostalgic. Despite the occasionally delusional trappings of intensity I was living in, some of the work is not half bad. Interesting how most of the people who inspired it are gone from me now, yet still the words still speak to me.
I should end this entry and get to my homework, but chi doesn't seem to go that way just yet. I think how I need to start meditating again. Mark Lanegan sings. It's quiet. I'll try to enjoy it, as it never lasts.
"In here, Mr. Garibaldi, you cannot hide from yourself. Everything out there has only one purpose: to distract us from ourselves. From what is truly important. But there are no distractions in here. You can learn much from silence. " -G'kar, Babylon 5
The end of October. It begins.
Edit (Nov 1): Halloween pictures are now up. Enjoy. And vote, goddammit.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
The pictures turned out wonderful hun.. great bra, it reminds me of Dots the candy for some odd reason.