i stared into the domain of Despair today, through my computer screen. overwhelmed with the urge to destroy myself, to give up forever. i got over it, but it frustrates me how weak i can be. sitting here listening to the Bends, something i've not sat with for a long while. thinking. remembering. i make the same mistakes, or rather, have the same flaws of character now as i did when i was a teenager. i seem never to learn. somehow i go through experience after experience without taking anything valuable from it. doomed to make these mistakes over and over. all i was given i squandered. i reminisce about the past, through rose-colored glasses...
"it's the best thing that you've ever had
the best thing you have had has gone away..."
"it's the best thing that you've ever had
the best thing you have had has gone away..."
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Peace.
Chin up, my dear. You have many amazing stories to read, many amazing stories to write and many amazing stories to live. Sometimes one must lose something for awhile in order to appreciate all of it's radiate blessings and beauty.
Take care . . .