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recoveringmale

Member Since 2003

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Wednesday Feb 18, 2004

Feb 18, 2004
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sigh. i'm in something of a bad mood, so excuse me if i rant.
it's quite frustrating when you talk to someone about how you're feeling, and they reciprocate with trying to liken your story/emotion to one they have experienced. similar occurences or whatnot. they understand, they say (and i'm not pulling a 'no one understands me' fit here), but rather, they can't understand. as we are not the other person, there's no tangible way they can truly know of what we speak. as she says in Waking Life:
"So much of our experience is intangible. So much of what we perceive cannot be expressed; It's unspeakable. Yet, when we communicate with one another, and we feel that we have connected, and we think that we are understood, I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion."
it may be what we live for, but i wonder if we might not be better simply recognizing that there is no way to truly know, and so simply listen to the other person with no need or desire to relate somehow. it just pisses me off sometimes when they seem to try and say, well, that can often be the case in such-and-such situations, likening your particular situation to an understandable clich of pop-psychology. simplifying it. but that's misguided. most things are never as simple as they'd like. emotions are complex. far more so than can be adequately expressed or understood by others. attempting to do so seems pointless. i always feel skeptical when someone does this with me, and certainly i've done it enough times. it's all we can do, right? or can we just sit across from the person, hear their words, and say yes. i hear you, and in doing so, i come to know you a little more. i care that you live well and are happy. but i'm not you, and i don't live your life. let it be at that.

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