To quote a note I just left for Funkabella:
"I understand the mask feeling. I feel really odd/scared/out of it lately. I had an awful day yesterday - I felt like everyone I looked at was frowning at me, and I felt incredibly down.
Today, I feel a little numb - I am trying really hard to slip into the groove of reality and feel good about it at the same time."
I don't know. I literally felt crazy yesterday. I have had a dream over the past few weeks 2 or 3 times now. I am dreaming that my mom is dead. Scary. I just reconciled with her over some things - and now I think my mind's just playing twist of fate tricks on me or something.
I think I am going to start writing down the crazy dreams - maybe they are some latent thoughts that need to be recognized. I don't know - I never used to remember my dreams regularly. shmrr.
I ahve decided that I am going to go to ALL of my classes EVERY DAY until the quarter is over. Most of you probably have no idea...I hate school right now. I am so brain dead and tired of learning music by the book. Fuck the bullshit. I have 12 more days left in Hughes Hall (I just glanced up my monitor to check my countdown that I made Sunday night) and I think I should fucking go out with a huge Bang. I have been doing this shit for a little too long, I think.
Today, however...my goal is to feel sane and find bed at some point. I wish I didn't feel so tired, but it's hard to eat healthy food that energizes when I am FUCKING BROKE until June 20th.
Have a lovely day to anyone who looks this far.
"I understand the mask feeling. I feel really odd/scared/out of it lately. I had an awful day yesterday - I felt like everyone I looked at was frowning at me, and I felt incredibly down.
Today, I feel a little numb - I am trying really hard to slip into the groove of reality and feel good about it at the same time."
I don't know. I literally felt crazy yesterday. I have had a dream over the past few weeks 2 or 3 times now. I am dreaming that my mom is dead. Scary. I just reconciled with her over some things - and now I think my mind's just playing twist of fate tricks on me or something.
I think I am going to start writing down the crazy dreams - maybe they are some latent thoughts that need to be recognized. I don't know - I never used to remember my dreams regularly. shmrr.
I ahve decided that I am going to go to ALL of my classes EVERY DAY until the quarter is over. Most of you probably have no idea...I hate school right now. I am so brain dead and tired of learning music by the book. Fuck the bullshit. I have 12 more days left in Hughes Hall (I just glanced up my monitor to check my countdown that I made Sunday night) and I think I should fucking go out with a huge Bang. I have been doing this shit for a little too long, I think.
Today, however...my goal is to feel sane and find bed at some point. I wish I didn't feel so tired, but it's hard to eat healthy food that energizes when I am FUCKING BROKE until June 20th.
Have a lovely day to anyone who looks this far.
funkabella:
hey my 420 babydoll....everything is gonna be alright. i will burn you some tunes, send me your addy, i'll send ya mine. and they will for surely brighten your day and make you shake your bootie. BRIGHT COLORS i love you lol im all about the bright colors, go big or go home...right? 
those fests sound cool, i wana go 
those fests sound cool, i wana go
funkabella:
wegottajiboo@wowway.com