So, I haven't taken time to write for a while again. And loads of things have happened in the past days.
I FINALLY got the tattoo on my back. It took about 2 hours and AJ did an awesome job. It's really healing up nicely and I am still in a good mood about it. Check out the pictures, please! I like it so much.
Basically, last week was a huge "celebration" of 420. Aka, Lindsay needed an excuse to slack off and ignore her motivational problems. Got really stoned Tuesday, and Wednesday was a 420 Memorial Session. Thursday I smoked to celebrate the tattoo, Friday was Friday, of course I smoked. And Saturday, Krystina and I smoked a little before we got on the bus to Washington. I haven't smoked since, I am a little weeded out right now. Give me a few days to get some shit done and get myself in check. I once said to someone that I never wanted to get to the point where I am smoking every day and it loses it's touch and just becomes a habit. I haven't reached that yet, each day it felt better than the last - but I don't want to risk it. That's a line that I just don't want to cross.
Krystina and I left for Washington around 11 pm Saturday night in a group of about 250 people from the West lots. We got to the March for Women's Lives (basically a pro-choice, anti-Bush event) Sunday morning after a slightly uncomfortable bus ride. I have never seen more people in my entire life - it was insane. Apparently the march had the largest turn out of any march in the country's history. The number they announced was approx. 1,150,000 people. It was an awesome time and I have to admit that it felt really good to be a part of such a huge event.
Finally...today I practiced for a good 2 hours. I have scales due on Wednesday - all 48, two octaves in the extension form. It literally took me an hour to do each one once. I felt pretty good about them when I had finished though, then I moved on to the 1st movement on Mozart's 2nd horn concerto. I kind of surprised myself at how well I read through it and how good I was sounding it. I lost some steam when I got to the 3rd page though - I was getting bored, so I cracked open Kopprasch. Talk about depressing. My session went completely downhill. I sounded like shit and finally just gave up. I started talking to myself and I finally said it outloud, "Maybe this isn't for me...but I don't do anything else well." I have been thinking that all year. I really hope that everything that has gone on in my first year here just has me down. I like music so much - and I really want to do it. But I have so little motivation and I just feel like something is missing - unfortunately - I have no idea of what that thing may be. I just hope it's a really bad case of the burn. I want to play and be good and be happy. Simultaneously. I don't think that's too much to ask for...? *le sigh*
oh my fucking god, KAOS 2 JUST BROKE IN HALF!!! I am going to die.
I FINALLY got the tattoo on my back. It took about 2 hours and AJ did an awesome job. It's really healing up nicely and I am still in a good mood about it. Check out the pictures, please! I like it so much.
Basically, last week was a huge "celebration" of 420. Aka, Lindsay needed an excuse to slack off and ignore her motivational problems. Got really stoned Tuesday, and Wednesday was a 420 Memorial Session. Thursday I smoked to celebrate the tattoo, Friday was Friday, of course I smoked. And Saturday, Krystina and I smoked a little before we got on the bus to Washington. I haven't smoked since, I am a little weeded out right now. Give me a few days to get some shit done and get myself in check. I once said to someone that I never wanted to get to the point where I am smoking every day and it loses it's touch and just becomes a habit. I haven't reached that yet, each day it felt better than the last - but I don't want to risk it. That's a line that I just don't want to cross.
Krystina and I left for Washington around 11 pm Saturday night in a group of about 250 people from the West lots. We got to the March for Women's Lives (basically a pro-choice, anti-Bush event) Sunday morning after a slightly uncomfortable bus ride. I have never seen more people in my entire life - it was insane. Apparently the march had the largest turn out of any march in the country's history. The number they announced was approx. 1,150,000 people. It was an awesome time and I have to admit that it felt really good to be a part of such a huge event.
Finally...today I practiced for a good 2 hours. I have scales due on Wednesday - all 48, two octaves in the extension form. It literally took me an hour to do each one once. I felt pretty good about them when I had finished though, then I moved on to the 1st movement on Mozart's 2nd horn concerto. I kind of surprised myself at how well I read through it and how good I was sounding it. I lost some steam when I got to the 3rd page though - I was getting bored, so I cracked open Kopprasch. Talk about depressing. My session went completely downhill. I sounded like shit and finally just gave up. I started talking to myself and I finally said it outloud, "Maybe this isn't for me...but I don't do anything else well." I have been thinking that all year. I really hope that everything that has gone on in my first year here just has me down. I like music so much - and I really want to do it. But I have so little motivation and I just feel like something is missing - unfortunately - I have no idea of what that thing may be. I just hope it's a really bad case of the burn. I want to play and be good and be happy. Simultaneously. I don't think that's too much to ask for...? *le sigh*
oh my fucking god, KAOS 2 JUST BROKE IN HALF!!! I am going to die.
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emily says hi!!
gabe