I Could Sleep For Years....
I can feel the crash comming...I have this verge of a cold... Which I can kill with echenacia and continuing to work. I have to keep working. Thankfully, We go straight into " Nixon In China " and iI've been able to be AE throughout the Civics and just hang and focus rigs, my favourite thing to do in theatre. Work with Gerald... feel that compatriot-ness with my working Brothers and Sisters. Experience events.. really get to know all the venues I want to work in more. Where everything is where it's stored, Protocol etc....
But, I'm not sleeping... And I'm feeling alone. I'm worried.. I'm feeling lonely... I put more money away for RRSP's and retirement but, this year I don't care... I want to spend it. I worked all these F'ing shows this last year, Madonna AC/DC U2 The Cultural Olympiad and I want to take some time off... go away...see this city from outside. Turn a corner and see something new with every step I take. Meet entire strangers. Disappear. And now I know from going to Boston I don't need to travel with someone... I can go it alone if need be.
( I'm going to... IM GOING TO BERLIN... I keep telling myself... Sure it's not NYC but its to Berlin where my brother is and where my new nefew is as well. It's worth the money. I'll get to travel with my Niece and see another city I've never been to.. And maybe visit Lipzig during Gothic Treffen and see a real industrial music festival. )
Sure, there's a woman here or there I wish I would have the courage to speak to.. but, I've decided to not let it eat me up if I don't. Maybe if I focus on that I'll just end up saying anything...
I can feel the crash comming...I have this verge of a cold... Which I can kill with echenacia and continuing to work. I have to keep working. Thankfully, We go straight into " Nixon In China " and iI've been able to be AE throughout the Civics and just hang and focus rigs, my favourite thing to do in theatre. Work with Gerald... feel that compatriot-ness with my working Brothers and Sisters. Experience events.. really get to know all the venues I want to work in more. Where everything is where it's stored, Protocol etc....
But, I'm not sleeping... And I'm feeling alone. I'm worried.. I'm feeling lonely... I put more money away for RRSP's and retirement but, this year I don't care... I want to spend it. I worked all these F'ing shows this last year, Madonna AC/DC U2 The Cultural Olympiad and I want to take some time off... go away...see this city from outside. Turn a corner and see something new with every step I take. Meet entire strangers. Disappear. And now I know from going to Boston I don't need to travel with someone... I can go it alone if need be.
( I'm going to... IM GOING TO BERLIN... I keep telling myself... Sure it's not NYC but its to Berlin where my brother is and where my new nefew is as well. It's worth the money. I'll get to travel with my Niece and see another city I've never been to.. And maybe visit Lipzig during Gothic Treffen and see a real industrial music festival. )
Sure, there's a woman here or there I wish I would have the courage to speak to.. but, I've decided to not let it eat me up if I don't. Maybe if I focus on that I'll just end up saying anything...
I'm with you on the wanting to travel, etc. I want out of here but money wise it's just not going to happen. Well I'm going to NC in July but that's not really a "vacation". And even if I dd have the fnds, I'd be too afraid and bored to travel alone. I can't even bring myself to go to the theater alone!
Lately I have been feeling lonely and wishing there was someone here to counteract that. But it is what it is. I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person