Well...All That Ends...
I should have guessed the other side of not being kissed on the lips...That I was going to be dumped.
Or was I? I mean I don't know that we were anything....I knew that we were having great sex ( I was at least...For all I know women can fake amazing orgasms. ) I had someone to talk to about the Theatre... the show. I got to do nice things for a lovely girl.. which made me feel really good on the nights I drove home after dropping her off. If I was dumped I was dumped on Facebook... I'm not sure that was very cool. I'd hoped to have the face to face talk. But, there's no point now. It's done.. I left a message on her phone. Letting her know I would probably avoid her for a bit with I put my emotional house in order. I kind of wish I didn't tell her about this blog. but what's done is done. I think heart of hearts I was hoping for the amazing ( I'm dating a younger hot women thing ) to last a bit longer. That something more special would come out of this than say a month long "Office" romance.
She was really making me feel good about myself. Ever since I had a real long term live in GF thing go down in flames many years ago, I've had this deep fear that I didn't have the ability to satisfy a woman I was attracted to. Which kind of explains the Prince Albert past any wish to reclaim my sense of self. Learning and experiencing that my ex was sleeping around on her husband never really made me feel any better. Dating Catherine was...
Thankfully I told all my friends that this was probably a super temporary (SEX???) thing. And that I was doing my best to revel in the moment. So, I have no crow to eat and sob over. I feel sad... I was looking forward to another weekend of sex and a possibly deeper connection. I feel a little foolish about getting her glasses fixed and leaving a stupid... mushy note in the case. But, at least I'm not that specture of an old guy carrying wilted flowers and a sad look on my face. Nobody but me and her know of the note. except you out there.. who ever reads this.
I'm glad I got to actually have 100 percent bare sex... that was quite a revelation. Amazing that it took til I was 42 to have that experience. I don't know if I can go back to rythum or condoms. Sadly I have to go back to things like Plentyoffish - Dating purgatory. But, I'm free to work on Cosette. See Parents. Spend money on feeding and clothing me. Dancing at Sin City. Focusing on work. - I''ll avoid FOH area for a while and get my emotional bearings.. it's tough to look at a woman you love to be with when you can't be that way with her anymore.
I just hope I don't feel the need to lock my heart away as I've done for the past 8 years....
I should have guessed the other side of not being kissed on the lips...That I was going to be dumped.
Or was I? I mean I don't know that we were anything....I knew that we were having great sex ( I was at least...For all I know women can fake amazing orgasms. ) I had someone to talk to about the Theatre... the show. I got to do nice things for a lovely girl.. which made me feel really good on the nights I drove home after dropping her off. If I was dumped I was dumped on Facebook... I'm not sure that was very cool. I'd hoped to have the face to face talk. But, there's no point now. It's done.. I left a message on her phone. Letting her know I would probably avoid her for a bit with I put my emotional house in order. I kind of wish I didn't tell her about this blog. but what's done is done. I think heart of hearts I was hoping for the amazing ( I'm dating a younger hot women thing ) to last a bit longer. That something more special would come out of this than say a month long "Office" romance.
She was really making me feel good about myself. Ever since I had a real long term live in GF thing go down in flames many years ago, I've had this deep fear that I didn't have the ability to satisfy a woman I was attracted to. Which kind of explains the Prince Albert past any wish to reclaim my sense of self. Learning and experiencing that my ex was sleeping around on her husband never really made me feel any better. Dating Catherine was...
Thankfully I told all my friends that this was probably a super temporary (SEX???) thing. And that I was doing my best to revel in the moment. So, I have no crow to eat and sob over. I feel sad... I was looking forward to another weekend of sex and a possibly deeper connection. I feel a little foolish about getting her glasses fixed and leaving a stupid... mushy note in the case. But, at least I'm not that specture of an old guy carrying wilted flowers and a sad look on my face. Nobody but me and her know of the note. except you out there.. who ever reads this.
I'm glad I got to actually have 100 percent bare sex... that was quite a revelation. Amazing that it took til I was 42 to have that experience. I don't know if I can go back to rythum or condoms. Sadly I have to go back to things like Plentyoffish - Dating purgatory. But, I'm free to work on Cosette. See Parents. Spend money on feeding and clothing me. Dancing at Sin City. Focusing on work. - I''ll avoid FOH area for a while and get my emotional bearings.. it's tough to look at a woman you love to be with when you can't be that way with her anymore.
I just hope I don't feel the need to lock my heart away as I've done for the past 8 years....