30+ Days...
I've just this moment realized that it's been more than a whole month that I've been seeing the Beautiful Catherine. ( counting the Playhouse shop party ) Here I was.. thinking I was going to be different this time... stay connected... keep record of those emotional moments inside our wonderful connection.. And I got side tracked by friends seeing the show on Canada Day.... I feel terrible.
This woman has given me one of the greatest emotional experiences I could ever concieve... And , I've been remissed in letting her know how important this last month has been. I know she reads this... but i don't what this to be the end of it.
I've been so able to be so compartmentalized about all this.. our affair... my feelings. Yet, I feel at this moment I've forgotten hers...And even then I ask myself are we that? I know how deeply I feel for her. I cannot begin to describe to anyone... even her ( alomost out of fear...) how wonderful and even life changing knowing her, touching her is. Which I why I feel so stupid to not remember this milestone. Instead I focused on the show, and Canada day. Thinking inside.. Navel gazing... badly... inside the place where I told myself I wouldn't think too much anymore.
I have to do something... reconnect and show her how precious she is to me. Somehow, without freaking her out. And at the same time I feel terrible that I might be dissapointing her understanding of us ... her expectation.
It's like that standard male stupidity has led me to this minefield... the same one I don't know how to extracate myself from... even with other women...
I hope she'll forgive me...I'm male.. and not always thinking enough and just acting on it.
I've just this moment realized that it's been more than a whole month that I've been seeing the Beautiful Catherine. ( counting the Playhouse shop party ) Here I was.. thinking I was going to be different this time... stay connected... keep record of those emotional moments inside our wonderful connection.. And I got side tracked by friends seeing the show on Canada Day.... I feel terrible.
This woman has given me one of the greatest emotional experiences I could ever concieve... And , I've been remissed in letting her know how important this last month has been. I know she reads this... but i don't what this to be the end of it.
I've been so able to be so compartmentalized about all this.. our affair... my feelings. Yet, I feel at this moment I've forgotten hers...And even then I ask myself are we that? I know how deeply I feel for her. I cannot begin to describe to anyone... even her ( alomost out of fear...) how wonderful and even life changing knowing her, touching her is. Which I why I feel so stupid to not remember this milestone. Instead I focused on the show, and Canada day. Thinking inside.. Navel gazing... badly... inside the place where I told myself I wouldn't think too much anymore.
I have to do something... reconnect and show her how precious she is to me. Somehow, without freaking her out. And at the same time I feel terrible that I might be dissapointing her understanding of us ... her expectation.
It's like that standard male stupidity has led me to this minefield... the same one I don't know how to extracate myself from... even with other women...
I hope she'll forgive me...I'm male.. and not always thinking enough and just acting on it.