The Scottish Inquisition....
Sometimes I really think I should drink at home.... I have a rule of no free drinks in my place for me ( A bottle of wine with dinner at most, stands by ) but, no hard liquor or beer without being in a tavern or club. And no more than three drinks of any type. Always involving food, and or conversation with another real human being. Only on designated weekends ( something I don't really have... my weekends are Mondays and Tuesdays. - Or when a long festival work session is over. ) To me, that's the rules of a strict social drinker.
However. When my inner voice tells me to stay in, clean house, do laundry... etc. I really should listen to it. Last night, instead of doing just that I went down to the 2 Parrots ( Local corner dive bar here on Granville Street - the cheapest place to drink and watch the Granville weekend zoo happen ) Where appon I was verbally accosted by a Scottish guy.
Not just any Scottish guy but a full on Mike Meyers skit stereo-type, drunken, blue collar, foul mouthed, cigarette breath - crazy political opinion Scottish lout.
Really, I thought in 2008 people like this were only characters in bad, ill thought out, Mike Meyer's comedy skits. This guy, named Al - never trust an "Al"..... just went off on me the minute I said Hello. ( Him having a row with his friend who left earlier, should have warned me - but he came over to my side of the bar...) yell -talking at me in this hoarse cigarette voice. Of which I could really only understand, maybe, two out of five words - his accent was so thck. Al was just going off about how awful Vancouver is to live in. How his cement forming crews knew nothing. How Canadian wages and cement forming techniques were 30 years behind the times. How Canada is a communist nation. How Canadian's don't have any balls ( and to emphasize this he grabbed at MY balls...!!!) to stand up to anyone in power. etc. etc. etc... repeating over and over like a yelling scottish mantra about how much better he and all scottish people were, in comparison to pansy canadians like me.
And when I tried to calm him down he went off on how I was a Office worker Fag, and had never been anywhere... etc. etc. Didn't know nothing ( He never once asked my name let alone what I did for a living - And I only gathered that he was a forman on the Olympic Village site here in town, teaching locals rebar work... from his drunken rantings. ) Then, in the midst of this, kept offering to buy me a beer...?????
To this I replied that I had to leave soon and that he should calm down. Maybe go out for a cigarette, before the bar staff called the police. ( they kept trying to intervene on this as well. ) So, he left for a cigarette. calling it a " Fag... You know like YOUUUUU...."
So, fearing for my ruined night, but not wanting to leave my own local bar like I was chased out. I tried to chat up the geek woman sitting next to me. - Who I'd spied earlier a few weeks ago and, had a smiling session over the bar with, before the Scottish Inquistion showed up.
Geek girl how ever, was in one word answer mode. Giving me nothing to work with. Not opening up or returning any of my questions. I felt like I was in Bar purgatory. So, I gave in to the drinking gods not smiling on me. Sucked back my beer and went to pay up.
Just as "Al" the crazy Scotsman returned ( I mean, earlier during his Canadians are wimps mode. He was even comparing himself to the scotsman berzerker that Mel Gibson played in that bad movie. Which he couldn't remember the name of ) Accosting me again by grabbing my neck while offering me another free beer.
So, I exploded on him... Asking him why I'd even want to!!!! When all he did was come in here, where everyone was just stting around drinking and having a nice night. Driving everyone cool away while he ranted on about how awful Canada and Vancouver was. And, If I'd done that in his local bar in Glasgow City. I'd be lucky to just get thrown out of the pub, let allone beaten to a pulp. With that, I challenged this Drunk Bastard to name ONE THING... Just ONE THING !! about what he liked about B.C. Or leave...!!!
So, he went on with how much he liked the local fly fishing rivers. And how much he wanted to get his Dad over here to Fly fish with him before his dad died. ( Or at least I think that's what he was saying - through his thick accent ) And then promptly began to weep right there at the arm of the bar. Appoligizing about what a wanker he'd been. And how he's all wound up about his Dad and his Mum. And his three Kids back in Scotland ( He was divorced - something I could have guessed at...) turning into a sobbing mess right there.
So, I ended up buying him a beer.....
Sometimes I really think I should drink at home.... I have a rule of no free drinks in my place for me ( A bottle of wine with dinner at most, stands by ) but, no hard liquor or beer without being in a tavern or club. And no more than three drinks of any type. Always involving food, and or conversation with another real human being. Only on designated weekends ( something I don't really have... my weekends are Mondays and Tuesdays. - Or when a long festival work session is over. ) To me, that's the rules of a strict social drinker.
However. When my inner voice tells me to stay in, clean house, do laundry... etc. I really should listen to it. Last night, instead of doing just that I went down to the 2 Parrots ( Local corner dive bar here on Granville Street - the cheapest place to drink and watch the Granville weekend zoo happen ) Where appon I was verbally accosted by a Scottish guy.
Not just any Scottish guy but a full on Mike Meyers skit stereo-type, drunken, blue collar, foul mouthed, cigarette breath - crazy political opinion Scottish lout.
Really, I thought in 2008 people like this were only characters in bad, ill thought out, Mike Meyer's comedy skits. This guy, named Al - never trust an "Al"..... just went off on me the minute I said Hello. ( Him having a row with his friend who left earlier, should have warned me - but he came over to my side of the bar...) yell -talking at me in this hoarse cigarette voice. Of which I could really only understand, maybe, two out of five words - his accent was so thck. Al was just going off about how awful Vancouver is to live in. How his cement forming crews knew nothing. How Canadian wages and cement forming techniques were 30 years behind the times. How Canada is a communist nation. How Canadian's don't have any balls ( and to emphasize this he grabbed at MY balls...!!!) to stand up to anyone in power. etc. etc. etc... repeating over and over like a yelling scottish mantra about how much better he and all scottish people were, in comparison to pansy canadians like me.
And when I tried to calm him down he went off on how I was a Office worker Fag, and had never been anywhere... etc. etc. Didn't know nothing ( He never once asked my name let alone what I did for a living - And I only gathered that he was a forman on the Olympic Village site here in town, teaching locals rebar work... from his drunken rantings. ) Then, in the midst of this, kept offering to buy me a beer...?????
To this I replied that I had to leave soon and that he should calm down. Maybe go out for a cigarette, before the bar staff called the police. ( they kept trying to intervene on this as well. ) So, he left for a cigarette. calling it a " Fag... You know like YOUUUUU...."
So, fearing for my ruined night, but not wanting to leave my own local bar like I was chased out. I tried to chat up the geek woman sitting next to me. - Who I'd spied earlier a few weeks ago and, had a smiling session over the bar with, before the Scottish Inquistion showed up.
Geek girl how ever, was in one word answer mode. Giving me nothing to work with. Not opening up or returning any of my questions. I felt like I was in Bar purgatory. So, I gave in to the drinking gods not smiling on me. Sucked back my beer and went to pay up.
Just as "Al" the crazy Scotsman returned ( I mean, earlier during his Canadians are wimps mode. He was even comparing himself to the scotsman berzerker that Mel Gibson played in that bad movie. Which he couldn't remember the name of ) Accosting me again by grabbing my neck while offering me another free beer.
So, I exploded on him... Asking him why I'd even want to!!!! When all he did was come in here, where everyone was just stting around drinking and having a nice night. Driving everyone cool away while he ranted on about how awful Canada and Vancouver was. And, If I'd done that in his local bar in Glasgow City. I'd be lucky to just get thrown out of the pub, let allone beaten to a pulp. With that, I challenged this Drunk Bastard to name ONE THING... Just ONE THING !! about what he liked about B.C. Or leave...!!!
So, he went on with how much he liked the local fly fishing rivers. And how much he wanted to get his Dad over here to Fly fish with him before his dad died. ( Or at least I think that's what he was saying - through his thick accent ) And then promptly began to weep right there at the arm of the bar. Appoligizing about what a wanker he'd been. And how he's all wound up about his Dad and his Mum. And his three Kids back in Scotland ( He was divorced - something I could have guessed at...) turning into a sobbing mess right there.
So, I ended up buying him a beer.....