Hard Luck Woman......
I'm old... I'm 40...Here I'm a Geezer...But in my travels I meet beautiful women who are my junior. And I love them. At my best I love them as I love my little sister ( Or wish I could love them more...Her being her and me being me...Makes that hard... almost impossible)
They are special... they have heart and love. And they have art. The common denominator seems to be art. Performance or otherwise. They have this significant other. That draws me in makes me wonder and care. Maybe it's my wish to be ( or my wish to be seen for that....) But, I love them for that expression. If i can't be seen as the maker. I wish to be the patron of their hearts.
There's this one.... Bonnie....A fresh faced redhead punker girl. Almost impossibly slim, with perfect freckles across the bridge of her upturned nose. And a smile that lightens the room like a 1 k spotlight. I've watched her draw horrifically beautiful images that have made me ponder her and her life. Which is what every artist has made me do, when I think about it and their art. At first, I honestly admit all I wanted to do was just be allowed to kiss her. As if kissing her, just her, would make all the demons of my past fade away.
But, we are so removed in time. She's only 4 years older than my niece. Being with her, in reality. It's like seeing my X again without the taint of the rosy sunglasses of stupid/ nieve youth. Clouding my judgement. And I realize she , Bonnie needs escape.. She needs and wants the world. And more importantly deserves it for her and in turn this will enliven all of us who are her friends. She's had this terrible childhood. One which makes mine and all who I know ( Childhood...) seem like disneyland rides in comparison.....
So I told her tonight to go east... keep going... Go to Barcelona or Berlin.... get out there and enjoy her 20's and just love her life.....And this is my love for her...
Sweet dreams of your future.... Bonnie....
I'm old... I'm 40...Here I'm a Geezer...But in my travels I meet beautiful women who are my junior. And I love them. At my best I love them as I love my little sister ( Or wish I could love them more...Her being her and me being me...Makes that hard... almost impossible)
They are special... they have heart and love. And they have art. The common denominator seems to be art. Performance or otherwise. They have this significant other. That draws me in makes me wonder and care. Maybe it's my wish to be ( or my wish to be seen for that....) But, I love them for that expression. If i can't be seen as the maker. I wish to be the patron of their hearts.
There's this one.... Bonnie....A fresh faced redhead punker girl. Almost impossibly slim, with perfect freckles across the bridge of her upturned nose. And a smile that lightens the room like a 1 k spotlight. I've watched her draw horrifically beautiful images that have made me ponder her and her life. Which is what every artist has made me do, when I think about it and their art. At first, I honestly admit all I wanted to do was just be allowed to kiss her. As if kissing her, just her, would make all the demons of my past fade away.
But, we are so removed in time. She's only 4 years older than my niece. Being with her, in reality. It's like seeing my X again without the taint of the rosy sunglasses of stupid/ nieve youth. Clouding my judgement. And I realize she , Bonnie needs escape.. She needs and wants the world. And more importantly deserves it for her and in turn this will enliven all of us who are her friends. She's had this terrible childhood. One which makes mine and all who I know ( Childhood...) seem like disneyland rides in comparison.....
So I told her tonight to go east... keep going... Go to Barcelona or Berlin.... get out there and enjoy her 20's and just love her life.....And this is my love for her...
Sweet dreams of your future.... Bonnie....