Four days off of my meds, since the new, "better" insurance my company decided to take turned out not to be a form of insurance that any of my normal pharmacies take. Back at home, depressing for reasons that I mostly won't mention, excepting how fucking lonely they remind me I am.
Everyone in my goddamn family has someone that they have been dating for at least a month. In Texas, it was pretty much the same for me. I never had trouble finding someone to date, even as picky as I am.
I have literally not been on a date in almost a year. I havn't been on a date with someone more than once in well over a year. I can't figure out how to do it. Everyone that expressed interest is, not to be shallow, because I consider myself a pretty general person in what I consider to be attractive, so outside the range of what I prefer that I don't even bother asking them out. They could be amazingly interesting. They could change my mind completely. They will never get the chance, because I could never get past how unattractive I consider them,
I have to assume that's the case for those that I try to ask out. But really, I don't ask out so few that this would make sense. Basic statistics would seem to indicate that some might find me attractive, as I'm not overweight or, by my own approximation, particularly hideous. And I'm not generous. I take measure of my faults, and weigh them in in regards to all of this.
So. What the fuck. Seriously, I was complaining about this a year ago. Now I'm just at my wits end. I don't get it. I'm FUCKING LONELY.
Do I get desperate? Do I give up? Because too much longer and the matter won't be a choice: It'll be what happens naturally.
Everyone in my goddamn family has someone that they have been dating for at least a month. In Texas, it was pretty much the same for me. I never had trouble finding someone to date, even as picky as I am.
I have literally not been on a date in almost a year. I havn't been on a date with someone more than once in well over a year. I can't figure out how to do it. Everyone that expressed interest is, not to be shallow, because I consider myself a pretty general person in what I consider to be attractive, so outside the range of what I prefer that I don't even bother asking them out. They could be amazingly interesting. They could change my mind completely. They will never get the chance, because I could never get past how unattractive I consider them,
I have to assume that's the case for those that I try to ask out. But really, I don't ask out so few that this would make sense. Basic statistics would seem to indicate that some might find me attractive, as I'm not overweight or, by my own approximation, particularly hideous. And I'm not generous. I take measure of my faults, and weigh them in in regards to all of this.
So. What the fuck. Seriously, I was complaining about this a year ago. Now I'm just at my wits end. I don't get it. I'm FUCKING LONELY.
Do I get desperate? Do I give up? Because too much longer and the matter won't be a choice: It'll be what happens naturally.